Aries and Libra
So with occasional tiffs, but on the whole rollicking, they drew near the Neverland; for after many moons they did reach it, and what is more, they had been going pretty straight all the time.
The Libra people who read this chapter may claim I haven’t been fair with them, since I’m an Aries myself. (They’re always claiming somebody hasn’t been fair with them.) Are reckless Rams envious of the marvelous tranquility of the Venus-ruled people when their Libra Scales are perfectly balanced, as they sometimes are? No. Rams are not envious of Libran tranquility, even though astrology insists they should be, the two Sun Signs being opposed to one another on the karmic wheel of Life, therefore each lacking what the other possesses. At least, the typical Arian will never openly admit that he or she is envious of Libra, however much the Rams would secretly like to imitate Libra’s lovely calm and tranquil equilibrium. The derivation of the word equilibrium is the word libra. Or the opposite. Either way, the word and the Sun Sign are linked. Nothing is more important to a Libran than equilibrium. They do so hate to lose it. Nonetheless, they frequently do.
One of the times the Ram secretly envies the Libran is when an Aries person makes a swift Mars-like decision, then is forced to face the inevitable opposition Libra-type emotional trauma that always follows. Did I do right or wrong? Should I have said yes or no?—after it’s already too late to change anything. Believe me, the Arian indecision after the fact is more painful than the indecision before the fact from which Librans suffer—and certainly not as constructive.
No one can be more charming, intelligent, and optimistic than Librans who have a firm grip on their Scales. They’re simply great at getting groups of people to blend harmoniously and smoothing over tensions (when they’re not personally involved). Aries men and women admire and respect Libra for the Venus-type virtues they themselves lack. But Aries is also Libra’s opposition Sun Sign, and so Libra must admire and respect the Mars-type virtues too. Does that sound like an order?
One of the most noticeable differences between Aries and Libra is that the simplest Aries statement somehow comes out sounding like a demand. Even when Rams ask a question, it often seems more like they’re telling you than asking you. On the other hand, (we must be careful to look at both sides, since we’re dealing with the Scales)—on the other hand, when the Venus-ruled Librans ask a question or make a statement, they manage to charm you right out of your good sense, so you’re left vulnerable and unable to defend yourself.
It doesn’t matter whether the Libran asks, Why are you so consistently ignorant, dear?—or remarks, What you’re doing reveals your complete lack of breeding—it will evoke a musical tone reminiscent of The Lost Chord. Those bunny-tail-soft Venus voices create images of maple syrup being poured into bowls of honey. That’s why Libra can argue for hours with Aries and leave the impression it was the Ram who was being impossibly rude and wrongheaded, in comparison to Libra’s nice, sensible logic. Now what is that, if it isn’t unfair? No wonder Librans make fabulous lawyers, the kind who win all the verbal debates in the courtroom before the jury. If Libran lawyers can twist tough judges around their fingers and woo an indifferent panel of jurors to their side, you can imagine what happens in a battle of wits between Libra and the impulsive, quick-tempered, emotional Ram. No contest.
Perhaps Libra will accuse the Rams of being too hasty to make a sound judgment, of rushing in rashly, with no thought of possible consequences—then sweetly remind them of the beauty of the symbol of the Lady Justice with her Scales balanced in perfect equilibrium.
Aries: Yes, but she’s wearing a blindfold, so how can she see right from wrong?
Libra: The blindfold is only there to protect her from prejudice, dear.
Then Aries may ask Libra if he (or she) has ever heard the fable about the ass that starved to death because it couldn’t make up its mind which field of clover to eat first? Finally, the Libra man or woman will smile—and once the Ram is under the influence of that dazzling Venus aura, the Aries fire sputters out. It’s difficult for the friendly, open Rams to resist a smile and a kind word, and they’re too naive to suspect Libra of using charm as a weapon against them. Nevertheless, Libra does.
Most of the time in this relationship, the Libran will remain cool and stable. But when the Aries aggressiveness becomes intolerable, it can have the same effect upon this normally gentle person as the accumulation of tension has in the sky—a thunderstorm. Every instinct of Libra recoils from unpleasant confrontation, but when he (or she) feels seriously threatened, a firm, sometimes even impulsive, action will be taken, if only for the purpose of regaining calm. This may seem a little confusing, but you’ll have to apply Libra logic if you want to straighten it out. The best I can do is tell you that, with Libra, the end always justifies the means. On that point, at least, most Rams will agree.
Actually, with the respect always felt for one’s opposite Sun Sign, Rams will, however reluctantly, look up to the Libran judgment and privately wish they possessed it. Aries is aware that Libra is fair and logical, and a clear thinker. The Aries man or woman knows that Libra decisions are nearly always right, but a Ram can get a little jumpy, sitting around watching Libra make them. The word decision itself causes most Librans to break out in a rash. It doesn’t bother Aries. A decision has to be made? Great. Toss a coin or a feather—or just do what you instinctively feel is right, then forget it. That’s the Aries motto. Dive right in. (If there’s no water in the pool, Rams scrape their chins in the cement, but they’ll just stick on a Band-Aid, and be on their enthusiastic ways again.) It’s not that Aries doesn’t see the potential value in the nice, safe middle-road Libra wears down into a ditch, but a Ram would rather take a chance now and then on the path to the right or the fork to the left—and see what happens. It’s exciting. And that (to look at the other side) is one of the qualities Libra admires in the opposite Sun Sign of Aries. It works both ways.
If you want to test people’s grasp of astrological knowledge, ask them which one of these two Sun Signs has the most violent temper. Before you jump to any hasty conclusions, think. Libra is Air and Aries is Fire. Fire seems more volatile and violent than Air, but Libra is the Cardinal of the three Air Signs—and Cardinal means leader, among other things. Aries is also Cardinal, yet you must remember that in Nature air is not as innocent an element as it seems when it becomes aggressive. Have you ever watched a nice, calm, nonviolent tornado, cyclone, or hurricane? The quiet steam, composed of moist air, that drifts out of the spout of a teakettle can be turned into a force powerful enough to rip up the ground for miles around. Also consider that the chief constituent of air is nitrogen. Nitrogen may be an inert gas, but it’s the principle reason why explosives explode. So—which one has the most dangerous temper, Aries or Libra? You decide. (But don’t ask Libra to decide, if you’re in a hurry for an answer.) I didn’t say which one is the noisiest when angry. I said the most dangerous. If you study this paragraph carefully, you’ll see why people are puzzled when most astrology books, referring to the Venus rulership of Libra, describe all Librans as peaceful, gentle, beautiful, sweet, and calm. They are all those things—half the time. And I suppose we must confess that Aries could profit by trying to imitate some of those positive Libra personality patterns.
These two will at times argue instinctively, but in all fairness, when a conflict between a Libran and a Ram develops, the object of the quarrel to Libra is (usually) to win and achieve eventual peace and justice. The object of most quarrels to Arians is (usually) to win and prove they’re right (even when they’re wrong) to satisfy the considerable Mars ego.
An association between Aries and Libra, influenced by the 7-7 Sun Sign Pattern, is in most cases a fortunate experience for both. But if there’s a negative Sun-Moon aspect between their horoscopes, there can be some fiery and windy periods of tension and conflict. With a harmonious Luminary exchange, Libra will provide a rich atmosphere of freedom of thought and action that will richly nourish the self-confidence of the Rams. The typical Libran will usually treat Aries with gentleness, seldom with tyranny or harsh words—and this is an attitude designed to bring out the very best in the Mars nature, to encourage the finest qualities of the Ram to flower. Instead of trying to force Aries into any particular pattern of behavior, Libra will more often recognize the Arian individuality and respect it.
Under the natural instinct to imitate the opposite Sun Sign, a Ram will frequently discover that a relationship with a Libran friend, relative, business associate, lover, or mate leaves him (or her) with the Mars courage and intense drive intact, but softened into a more tolerant and balanced Venus pattern. Conversely, the Libran man, woman, or child will respond to the Arian friend, relative, business associate, lover, or mate by finding his (or her) indecision gradually turning into a firmer purpose, inspired by the Aries ambition into higher achievement, on both a personal and a public level. As with all 7-7 vibrations, this combination works best when it’s composed of two members of the opposite sex. With a Libran and a Ram of the same sex, a recurring sense of envy, resentment, and competition will often trouble the relationship (unless the Suns, Moons, and Ascendents of each are in friendly aspect in the two nativities).
The Ram will have to try to understand the Libra’s very real need to conserve his or her energy and not waste it unnecessarily, as Aries is often driven to do with Mars energy. It’s Libra’s way of maintaining physical and emotional poise—not laziness. When the Ram sincerely tries to see both sides of any disagreement between them and makes a genuine effort to sympathize with the Libran Venus nature, the Libra man or woman will return the favor with much affection and cheerful encouragement, which will considerably lift the Aries spirit. Librans would much rather be happy and pleasant than cranky and argumentative, if Aries will only play fair with them.
Someone once remarked that Librans are the positive, living proof of reincarnation, because nobody could become that impossible in just one lifetime. Present a Libran with this theory, and the reply will be, Oh, I’ve heard that about Aries people, but not Libra. Isn’t Libra symbolized by the Scales of Justice and Truth? I don’t see anything impossible in trying to be reasonable. On the other hand, Aries is a most unreasonable sign, and I think.… A smart Ram, at that point, will offer the Libra man or woman a slice of cheese cake. He (or she) will dimple, all smiles and sweetness again (since Librans love sweets), and the argument will be over. It’s just as well, the Ram couldn’t have won it anyway. Besides, losing an argument with Libra is usually beneficial in the long run, because the Venus judgment is nearly always right. By the time it’s so endlessly weighed and measured and balanced—and discussed and debated—it certainly ought to be.
Aries Woman and Libra Man
Wendy, he continued, in a voice no woman has ever been able to resist. . Wendy, one girl is worth twenty boys.……. .
I think it’s perfectly sweet of you, she declared. She also said she would give him a kiss if he liked.
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere in this chapter, Libra and Aries are opposite each other in the karmic wheel of Life. The astrological rule is that you’re strongly attracted to the opposite sex of your opposite Sun Sign, but normally don’t get along too well with the same sex of that sign. It would seem then, that the Aries woman and Libra man would be natural lovers, destined to live happily ever after.
Natural lovers they are, because the chemistry is right. Destined to live happily ever after they may not be, unless there’s a harmonious Sun-Moon relationship between them, in which case they could remain sweethearts for a lifetime, the choice being up to them. Otherwise, with a discordant Sun-Moon aspect in their mutual charts, it could be touch and go. They may touch—tenderly—but it won’t be long until they go—in opposite directions—putting them right back where they started: opposed.
It’s a waste of time for astrologers to keep mentioning the Libra man’s fatal charm for women. He’s been practicing it, with instant success, since he was thirteen (or younger), and his reaction to flattery is simply to flash that dimpled, Libra smile and murmur, Tell me all about it, honey. All right, so he’s aware of the blessings of his Venus birthright. He may not be as aware that all that charm can be a curse when he’s mixed up with an Aries female. (No one ever gets involved with an Aries—they get mixed up.)
The long line of women who cue up behind him everywhere he goes will turn an Aries woman who’s been a gentle lamb into a Dragon Lady, with fire flaming from her ears. Mars jealousy is often irrational, and it does cramp his Venus style. Still, before he decides to leave her because she’s spoiling all his fun, the Libra man might meditate on the word love. The longer it’s stored up inside and allowed to increase in depth, the more powerful and satisfying an emotion it can be. (Read John Fowles’ The French Lieutenant’s Woman for proof.) When love is restrained, then given fully at a special moment, with a very special person, it can bring spiritual peace, along with physical ecstasy. Falling in love with love, and getting married for the sake of marriage, are common Libra mistakes. She can be lovely and desirable, but if she’s not bright enough to argue with him and challenge him, his fine Libra mind will get rusty. There’s no chance of that with an Aries woman. She’ll provide him with all the arguments he could possibly use—and enough mental challenges to last for several lifetimes.
When the Libra man gets restless and wants to roam—alone and free—where he can once more accept the favors of a harem of females, the Aries woman probably won’t ask him shyly why he’s leaving. She’s more likely to shout, Where do you think you’re going, Charlie? He’ll tell her he’s off to find another seashell, because the shore is full of them. She might remind him then, that seashells are empty. Instead of throwing an emotional tantrum (which may frighten him into splitting so fast he forgets to take along his classical tape cassettes and his favorite baby-blue angora bathrobe), she’d stand a better chance of winning (which is what all Rams want to do all the time) if she curbs her Mars temper and uses his own Libra logic as a weapon. Which is only fair, since he’s always using it against her.
Look, darling, Life is more than one long party of wine, women, and song. While you’re getting high on a steady flow of casual affairs, remember that after you pour all the wine out of a flask, you have left only an empty bottle. Then the party’s over. Of course, you can always fill it up again from your inexhaustible source, can’t you sweetheart? Or is your capacity to love really inexhaustible? Why don’t you turn some of those romantic urges you express so well (this works better if she’s wearing his baby-blue bathrobe—especially this next part) into other creative channels, like art, music, writing, or acting? I could help you. I have a brain equally as brilliant as yours—even though our bodies are made differently—because you’re a man and I’m a woman.
The last reminder is a necessity. When a Libra male is led into thinking about the differences between the sexes, he’s more or less helpless. Not that the typical Aries woman will have the patience to accept the foregoing advice. She’s more likely to yell at him to Leave! Who needs you anyway!—push him out the door—slam it—lock it—toss his tapes and bathrobe out the window—and then sit up all night crying in frustrated anger and regret. But I thought I’d throw it in anyway, for those Aries women who think they are emotionally mature enough to cool it with this man. It’s really the only way with Libra. Fairness, logic, and reason. No skyrockets. They disturb his sense of harmony and topple his equilibrium, which is always dangerously seesawing at best. Besides, if you read the section just before this, you’ll recall that Air Signs can be goaded into tornado behavior that could make even a Ram run for shelter.
There are so many good things about this blend of Air and Fire between Aries and Libra, it’s a shame for them to spend their time bickering. The typical Aries woman isn’t looking for a muscle man. She wants a lover whose mental muscles have biceps. The Libra man’s mind does. He’ll stimulate and challenge her mentally and emotionally. All she needs to do is choose a subject, and he’ll have a thousand and one things to say about it, pro and con. Since just a touch of controversy intrigues her, she’ll honestly enjoy the debates they have, as long as they both play by the rules and refrain from punching each other in their complexes or tramping on one another’s delicate and sensitive Achilles’ heels. He’ll find this an easier counsel to accept than she will. Tact and courtesy come naturally to Libra, but such consideration for the other person comes hard to Aries.
This woman isn’t basically selfish—she’s thoughtless. She truly never means to be rude or unkind, and certainly not toward the man she loves. She simply doesn’t think or count to ten before she speaks her mind. And her mind can be quite opinionated. Don’t forget that Aries is the Sun Sign of the benevolent dictator, regarding both sexes. Benevolent dictators are genuinely concerned about people, compassionate, generous, and devoted to the cause of everyone’s welfare. But they don’t bother to ask the people they’re so loyally championing what it is they might want. Never mind. Like the benevolent dictator, no matter what the people want, Aries will see that they get it—because Aries knows what’s best for them better than they do. Warmth and arrogance make a frustrating blend, but all Fire Signs possess the combination, making their friends, relatives, and lovers love them and want to strangle them by turns.
When someone points out to a female Ram that she’s being unreasonable and impulsive—and the pointing out is done with tact, gentleness, and affection, she’ll never fail to listen, quickly see the error of her ways (she does everything quickly), and try hard to please by making sweeping changes in her original views. But when she’s ordered or forced to halt along some mistaken course she’s chosen, there’s no way she’ll give in. That’s too much like retreat and Aries never, but positively never, retreats. Mars, the planet of war itself—retreat? It will never happen. Since Mars is her ruler and influences all her motivations, strategy, and behavior, you really can’t expect this lady to accept dominance or harsh criticism in a docile manner. If anyone can turn the female Ram into a gentle lamb (besides Leo—and sometimes Gemini, Sag, and Aquarius), it’s a Libra man. He’ll gently correct her, try to make her see her mistakes in an affectionate and tender way. And nine times out of ten it will work like a charm. The tenth time he should leave well enough alone and consider himself fortunate. You can’t win them all. The trouble is that Libra would like to win them all—every debate, discussion, argument, dispute, and disagreement. So would Aries. So unless one of them accepts defeat graciously at least part of the time, there’s never going to be peace in this relationship—and peace is what the Libra man needs as desperately as the Aries woman he loves needs excitement.
She would profit by trying to give him the peace he needs, because some of it would then drape its soft clouds over her too, softening her disappointments and calming her fears of rejection. He’ll likewise profit by trying to give her the excitement she needs, because it will shake him from his spells of Libra lethargy and keep his Scales swinging in balance, instead of dipping one way or the other and getting stuck there.
The Libra man’s unconquerable optimism (when his Scales aren’t in a down-swing mood of fretting futilely) will strike a spontaneous chord of response in the Aries woman’s heart, for it matches her own bright faith in tomorrow. Her naive confidence that whatever she believes intensely enough and long enough just has to come true will strike the same kind of response in him, often moving him to tears (for he is sentimental). She’ll like that in him, the sentiment. That’s why she fell in love with him, because he’s the combination of strength and tenderness she seeks.
But she’ll become impatient and accuse him of being lazy, when he’s in one of his restful periods, not comprehending the necessity for his Venus-ruled nature to rest between long spells of energetic activity. Her own nature is different, her metabolism is so charged with vitality, she scarcely needs any rest at all—or so it will sometimes seem to him.
His kindness and friendliness are the two qualities she loves most in him. The very same two qualities he loves most in her. They are both kind, both friendly. In a world full of people who are cool, detached, and disinterested, this is not a small thing—and it forms an amazingly strong foundation for their relationship.
Being a 7-7 Sun Sign Pattern, very few of the disputes between the Libra man and Aries woman will happen on the way to or from the bedroom. (Especially if she buys him a king-size water mattress.) To a Libra male, drifting off to romance or dreamland within the soft folds of one of those undulating, billowy contraptions is very close to his idea of heaven. They may fight in the kitchen, the den, the front room, the back porch, the garden, the basement, attic, or garage—but when it’s time to kiss goodnight, it will be time to make up for these two. The reconciliation based on the undeniable sexual attraction between them may not, however, last eternally (without that Sun-Moon harmony assistance). He’s gentle, poetic, imaginative, considerate, charming, and romantic, all of which sends little tingles and shivers down her spine, from the top of her hard head to the tips of her busy toes. Their physical relationship at first seems like the tangible expression of every love song she’s ever dreamed over while she was waiting for the paragon of virtue she’s imaged in her heart to come to life.
That’s the trouble. Making this man come to life. The Libra approach to sex is mental, light, and airy. Libra men seek shimmering ideals and far-out experiences of erotic expression and sensual feeling, sometimes so far out, sometimes soaring so high above her head—she’ll long for something solid to grab. Like two warm arms and a burning passion you can touch, as well as dream about. Ethereal love and aesthetic sexual response can leave Aries somewhat chilly. Female Rams need plenty of warm affection and fiery lovemaking to feel completely fulfilled in a physical relationship. With this man she may be left feeling a little empty. Something is missing. Exactly what she can’t say, maybe the last line of the song. If she has the Moon in Libra, Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, or Leo—or if his Moon Sign is Aries, Sagittarius, Leo, Gemini, or Aquarius—the missing lyric may be found. If the Moon of either was in any other astrological sign at birth, it may be elusive. But the search for it will be delightful.
A Libra man who memorized the old nursery rhyme in school that went: Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater—had a wife and couldn’t keep her—put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well, had better check with Mother Goose again. An Aries woman will not sit happily in a pumpkin shell while he glides gracefully around the town, charming all the women—or while he hides in the library, polishing his Libra mind. With her, he shouldn’t expect marriage to balance his Scales—unless it’s a complete mental and emotional partnership. Still, if he’s honest, he’ll realize that’s the kind of relationship he really needs himself. When all the parties are over.
Aries Man and Libra Woman
I won’t open unless you speak! Peter cried.
Then at last the visitor spoke, in a lovely, bell-like voice. Let me in, Peter.
It was Tink, and quickly he unbarred to her.
It usually isn’t difficult for the Libra woman to persuade the Ram to unbar his door or his heart to her. He’s putty in her lovely, dimpled hands—and Rams, as you know, are normally putty in no one’s hands. Aries men are not made of Silly Putty. They are made of iron and steel (the metals associated with the Aries Sun Sign). But with the Libra lady, he’ll melt like a snowman in July. He can’t resist her charm, the way she praises all the wonderful qualities he’s perfectly aware he possesses himself, but which others are (it seems to him) forever ignoring—the undeniable sexual chemistry between them, and her womanly sweetness. (This is in the beginning. Later, he will experience a few surprises regarding her womanly sweetness.) Besides, she’s probably quite beautiful (most Libra females are), with a smile like carob cupcakes, and every Aries man adores having a girlfriend or a wife who causes other men to envy him. He needs to be proud of the woman he loves, to be able to show her off and brag about her. He wants her to always look prettier and be smarter than other women so it will be obvious that he’s won first prize in the love carnival. (Rams, you see, have this inbred thing about winning.)
Since she probably is superior to lots of other women, super bright and startlingly attractive, curvaceous and so forth, this woman will fit all his Mars requirements, and at the start of their affair, everything will be peaches and cream and buttery softness between them.
But the Libra woman in love with an Aries man may later find herself knocked out of balance frequently. Considering her nearly neurotic reaction to being forced into instant action before she’s completely sure what she wants to do, having an impatient lover or husband shout, Come on, what’s it going to be—pineapple sherbet or deep-dish apple pie à la mode? The waiter is growing a beard waiting for you to decide—could cause their relationship to suffer some rocky periods. This man wants things done now, immediately—even sooner if at all possible—even though his demands for whatever it is he wants are often given at the last minute. Do you want me to do it today, darling, she’ll ask, or may I do it tomorrow? (Whether it’s taking his favorite red sweater to the cleaners or typing up his address book so he’ll have an extra copy if he loses it. He’s always losing things.) Today, he’ll tell her. I want it done today. (If he’d wanted it done tomorrow, he’d have asked her tomorrow.) Actually, most Rams would like anything they request to be done yesterday.
This sort of irrational and impatient Mars-like reasoning can throw her delicate Venus psyche out of kilter. She could ask, Isn’t it more intelligent to plan ahead and try to do it tomorrow? only to hear him shout at her, Don’t argue with me! Just do as I say—please. If he has a softer Moon Sign or Ascendent, he’ll add the Please—if not, he’ll just toss out his orders cheerfully, thoughtlessly demanding, without the slightest idea he’s being unreasonable and somewhat spoiled.
I know one Libra wife who gave her Aries husband a birthday gift she made herself. A wall hanging created in velvets and satins, with variations of the Mars fire-engine red tones, embroidered with the words: Dear Lord, give me the gift of patience—but hurry. He was delighted. That’s one of the nice things about the typical Arian. He’s able to laugh at himself and seldom gets all stuffy when his faults are pointed out (gently, not harshly or with a severe, critical attitude). But they do have to be pointed out now and then. Once a Ram recognizes how selfish he’s being, he’ll feel guilty and ashamed, say he’s sorry, and promise not to do it again, after which he’ll proceed to do it again—and again—and again. Apologies are not difficult for the average Mars-ruled male to handle. It’s one of the most lovable things about him. Aries is quick to admit a fault and accept the blame, but not too quick to drop the bad habit that was apologized for so openly and generously. Still, it’s a decided virtue to be able to admit one’s mistakes and try again. He does try. He doesn’t always succeed, but the good Lord knows he tries.
She apologizes sweetly too. Like Aries, Libra seldom shrinks from admitting mistakes and being willing to say she’s sorry. In fact, she may be too ready to admit mistakes—or perhaps the better way to express it is that she may be too ready and willing to decide that what she decided (or did) might have been wrong. She’ll worry if she’s hurt his feelings by something she’s said or done, and try to gracefully atone in some way. She’ll be doing a lot of that with this man. Atoning, that is—apologizing and atoning for hurting his feelings, because this man is ultrasensitive. He wants everyone to like him, even to love him—family, friends, and strangers—and naturally the woman he owns. (That’s more or less the way he thinks of her—owning her, like a special, exciting, precious, and long-awaited, long-prayed-for gift he found under his tree on Christmas morning.) Aries men can be extremely self-centered without meaning to be so. She’ll gradually comprehend this, but before she does, her more tender Venus feelings will be bruised more than a few times.
She’ll try all her powers of Libra logic and persuasion to make him see that not every single person in the world can love him. But it will make little impression on her Ram. He won’t be able to understand why he isn’t liked and admired by his worst enemies, never mind what he’s said or done to anger them. They should understand that he was right, after all—and that he meant no harm. He was only defending himself from something negative they did to him. Why aren’t they friendlier? Why don’t they see he’s sorry for his hasty words and has already forgotten his anger? The Ram will expect people to forget an injury as swiftly as he does. He’s always deeply wounded when people pout or bear a grudge over something he considers past and forgotten.
His enemies today are his buddies tomorrow. He’ll rush home furious with someone, and expect his Libra lady to share his fury toward the person who’s offended him. If she refuses to do so, if she fairly tries to see the other person’s side of the issue, and attempts to point out to her Aries lover or husband where he just might have been wrong, he’ll turn on her, sometimes violently, sometimes even tearfully—and accuse her of disloyalty. She doesn’t love him. If she loved him, she would be on his side—and not defend his enemies. He’s not interested in her Libra fairness. The only fair point of view is his … … and if she really cared about him she’d see that.
While the Ram is angry, it’s impossible for him to see any side but his own, and he definitely will expect the woman he loves to champion him fiercely and consistently. The next day, he may feel quite sheepish about the whole thing, and be a perfect lamb about confessing his rashness and making amends for his goof. Then, you see, it’s all right for her to say he’s been wrong—because he has realized it himself. But not before he’s realized it on his own. Never before.
Naturally, a Venus-ruled female is more capable than most women of balancing the delicate situation of the quick tempers and even quicker reconciliations of the Ram she loves. She’s tender, womanly, logical, and intelligent and wise. But she was born under a masculine sign, and she can balk once in a while herself when she feels he’s being completely unfair. It probably won’t change him, however. He’ll either pout or storm angrily out the door (slamming it hard as he leaves), or sulk in the corner, convinced she hates him.
It wouldn’t be wise for the Libra woman to display her iron fist in its velvet glove too often with this male. He senses when he’s being manipulated, after a period of time. He may innocently accept it for a while (Aries possesses almost no guile, and is nearly never unduly suspicious), but once he’s caught on that she’s trying to mold him into any sort of pattern of behavior, he’ll become either obstinate or outraged—or both. No one tells him what to do. He is his own boss. Even when he earnestly desires to take a certain course of action, he’s likely to refuse to do it if he thinks she wants him to, not because he’s suspicious of her motives, but because he has a horror of doing anything someone else suggests—especially anything someone else openly directs him to do.
The fact that she likes to argue (discuss, debate, or whatever) every minor and major decision or situation won’t alienate the typical Aries man. He sees this as controversy, challenge, excitement! He’d be bored to tears with a woman who never fought back with him. His Mars nature is exhilarated by the promise of battle, whether it’s only a mild personal verbal battle over which film to see—or what kind of car to buy—or an argument concerning public or more general topics, like what should be done about pornography, solar heating, nuclear power, corruption in politics, or any other burning issues of the day. But he’ll like to win all these discussions. He won’t give in, not an inch—until he does win (or until his clever Libra lady allows him to believe he’s won). Then he feels proud, self-contented, and happy. And he’ll treat her with all the loving affection and tenderness any woman could desire.
This man’s sexual image of himself is closely woven into his ability to be always right and emerge victorious in the eyes of the woman he loves. He must be respected, liked, agreed with, and looked up to in order to properly project his considerable Mars virility as a lover. If he feels rejected intellectually or in any other way, he’ll freeze into Aries ice (always more serious and lasting than Aries fire—or fiery rages). Their sexual relationship will normally be an uncommonly happy and wholesome one. Her femininity and his masculinity harmonize beautifully and smoothly, in the most natural way. As long as she doesn’t allow the masculine side of her Sun Sign essence to intrude into their intimacy (like displaying her capabilities in every area under the Sun to be equal to his, which they quite probably are) and then expect him to feel like the conquering male in a physical sense. He must take the lead in their sexual togetherness, as in every other way. If she allows this, and understands the needs behind it, he’ll be the most sensitive, romantic, sentimental, affectionate, and passionate lover she could imagine. But he can become a demanding tyrant if she destroys his ultranecessary confidence in himself.
There’s little chance of this occurring, unless she has the Moon or Ascendent in Virgo, Sagittarius, Cancer, or Capricorn—or a lot of planets in Earth Signs in her birth chart. Her basic instinct is tact and thoughtfulness, which is usually blended nicely and equally with her own well-designed and controlled, forceful drive and aggressive nature.
Although their natures constitute a clear polarity, the Mars-ruled man and the Venus-ruled woman are exquisitely mated. After all, Mars and Venus themselves fell wildly and permanently in love—even while Venus was wed to Jupiter. They were caught, of course, in a web woven sneakily by Neptune—but the anger of Jupiter didn’t dim their passion by any means. A study of Greek mythology is of immense benefit in comprehending all Sun Signs.
Taking into consideration that the Ram likes to leap around on rocky slopes and the Venus lady lives in a precarious world of the swinging trays of her golden Scales, wherein the slightest breath of wind can upset her inner harmony and outward tranquility, these two often manage to blend their divergent natures with surprising success. The Libra woman can find the intoxicating freedom and exciting mental activity she seeks through this man—and the Ram will enjoy walking through Libra’s cool woods, down winding trails of bluebells and butterflies.
The Libra lady is quite a lot of woman. Very few men can cope with her powerful combination of masculine determination and delectable daintiness. But the Aries man is one for taking on super challenges and winning them—and her challenge offers precious rewards to the victor. All men are little boys at heart, but the Ram is more so than most. There’s nothing childish about him on the surface. He’s tough and forceful—the kind of male they call a man’s man. It’s the aura of impossible dreams and wistful yearnings hovering mistily around his shoulders that gives him his air of youthfulness … … some lingering enchantment behind his eyes that makes him so vulnerable. If she uses her Venusian charm and patience to direct his flaming ambitions and incredible energies toward some worthy goal, he can become a crusader for all manner of goodness and glory. (Both of them possess a strong sense of mercy for the weak and can become outraged over injustice.)
She’ll seldom or never drown his enthusiastic spontaneity with stern criticism, sarcasm, silent pouting, long brooding silences, or withdrawal—and that will please him. He’ll seldom or never refuse to be genuinely interested in and fascinated by her need to talk things over and discuss them—and that will comfort her.
The root cause of any difficulties between them will spring from their shared birthright of the Cardinal essence. For they are both Cardinal Signs of Leadership, Aries and Libra. A relationship will never work when there’s a constant battle over which one is the chief, and which one is the Indian—or which one is the general and which one is the private—who gallops ahead and who canters behind. They’ll have to learn to ride their horses side by side, as equals, not as superior and subordinate. It’s the only way they’ll ever find the way back home into each others’ hearts when they’ve quarreled and both of them have been deeply hurt. Otherwise, they’ll get lost like Hansel and Gretel, and you know how glad they were to return home together, after all their adventures were over. The only real security anyone has is the safety of being loved by someone who accepts you just as you are, with all your flaws, and wouldn’t trade you for another—ever. Someone who makes you know this, even when you’re behaving badly. That’s safety. That’s emotional security. That’s home- … … where love is.
|Ruled by Mars||Ruled by Pluto|
|Symbol: The Ram||Symbols: Scorpion & Eagle|
|Day Forces—Masculine||Night Forces—Feminine|