Cancer and Libra
I don’t know whether any of the children were crying; if so, the singing drowned out the sound….
Cancer and Libra form the squared 4-10 Sun Sign Pattern, through the elements of Water and Air, and like all 4-10 vibrations, theirs is the most interesting and challenging association of all. It’s also the most difficult kind to bring into harmony, but that’s exactly what makes it so interesting and challenging, because of the great rewards waiting to grace these two when they achieve a soul-stirring victory over their undeniable differences, which are, to be honest, numerous.
The relationship of Libra and the Crab is what life is all about, because it forces them to learn the hard way how to compromise. Mastering that lesson guarantees a much higher level of happiness than can ever be attained by choosing an easier path. For these two Sun Signs to win the battle to understand one another is a worthy goal. Now and then, it’s bound to be a bit jaggy and troublesome, to be sure, but Time smooths off the rough edges, if there’s sincere effort on both sides, and ultimately, there’s the sweet satisfaction of knowing you’ve succeeded in conquering your own and another’s very human natures, and in the process, have come a little closer to the angels. I don’t guarantee wings or anything, but maybe a couple of halos (which are only two auras, glowing in the beautiful colors of compatibility).
A halo (or aura) is not something these two will see over each other’s heads right away. They’re more likely to see imaginary horns and a couple of pitchforks. That’s because they aren’t trying. They’re giving in to human nature, and this particular karmic trip is all about trying to imitate the angels, remember? The first lesson Cancer and Libra must learn is the one so earnestly taught by Francesco Giovanni de Bernardone, of Assisi (known as Saint Francis, but not through his humble choice). They’ll simply have to stop trying so desperately to be understood, and start trying a little harder to understand. Both of them. It’s the only key which will unlock that mysterious barred door between them, behind which lies Pax et Bonum (Peace and Good).
As explained in detail in The Twelve Mysteries of Love section in the front of this book, Cancerians are experiencing the adolescence of the soul. They sense so much they can’t seem to express; their dreams haunt them with a disturbing precognition of the maturing process of both approaching happiness and approaching sorrows, as well as vivid recollections of yesterday. They feel all this, but they can’t talk about it, so naturally they’re moody, and can’t help weeping in nameless dread and depression when the Moon periodically tugs on their emotions, as helpless as the ocean’s tides to control the magnetic Lunar pull. Sometimes the Crabs are silent and reflective, at other times they cover their concerns with a crazy and marvelously contagious Lunar humor that frequently fools them right out of their fears, and certainly cheers up everyone lucky enough to be around them when they’re feeling funny.
When a Moon Child and a Libran are thrown together, for a while it can be a melodious scene. Librans adore laughter, and the Lunar humor of Cancer becomes a rhythmical lyric to the mellow music of Libra’s Venus essence, smooth and restful at times, yet also containing a few crashing chords and sour notes, punctuated by a kind of rocky roll. It’s pure entertainment, and happy and fortunate indeed are the innocent bystanders around the home or office brightened by the musical duets of this combo when they’re getting along. (The innocent bystanders should enjoy it while it lasts.) I say home or office because Destiny frequently places the 4-10 combinations in a life situation related closely to the home and the career. They seem to harmonize more easily around the family circle as relatives, as business associates, or in a classroom, than as friends, lovers, or mates. (But regarding the latter, don’t forget that challenge, and its golden rewards.)
Actually, the Crab and the Libran have more basic empathy to aid them in overcoming their difficulties than some of the other 4-10 Patterns because, although their personalities often clash, their ruling planets—the Moon and Venus, respectively—are sympathetic. Since the Sun rules the personality and the Moon rules the emotions, these two can reach one another more easily through the emotions than through the more obvious and outward ways. The problem is that it’s never a simple thing to break through a Crab shell to the Moon person’s true emotional nature. It’s well protected from hurt, and needs much careful coaxing.
Libra is tolerant, and stands a good chance of touching the Lunar person’s emotions with a gentle attitude.. and waiting. But unfortunately, the fact that Libra is essentially gentle and tolerant may not be quite enough. For the Moon-ruled man or woman (or child) can be sensitive beyond belief. Despite the innate Libran kindness, Libra, being an Air Sign, is often too intent upon logic, too little aware of the Crab’s or anyone else’s sensitivity. Librans make excellent lawyers and wise judges, but with few exceptions, as fair as they may be, they make poor psychologists. Libra isn’t concerned with the meaning-behind-the-meaning, only with the fascinating game of human action and reaction, on the surface level. That sort of attitude will never get beneath Cancer’s crusty shell. Libra will have to practice more in-depth compassion with Cancer, if this man or woman wants to understand what makes the Crab symbolically crawl in such a sideways fashion, instead of being direct and getting to the point.
One of the chief differences between their natures is that Libra is other-people oriented and Cancer is self-oriented. If it sounds as though astrology is saying that Cancer is more selfish than Libra, it should sound that way, because that’s precisely what it means. The average Libran is demonstrably more concerned about the problems of friends, of a particular business or of the world at large, than about his or her own personal problems, which seem to roll off Libra’s back with a shrug of the shoulders and the logical deduction that things can go nowhere from Down except Up. These men and women are outgoing extroverts, whereas the Moon people are more introverted—and protective of Number One. True, many Cancerians are gentle, imaginative, and sensitive folk, often very loving and affectionate; nonetheless, their most intense concentration is upon themselves.
Since concentration upon the self is an unhealthy emotional attitude which never fails to eventually bring on some degree of poor health, the Crabs are ill more frequently than they need be. Libra illnesses are more often seeded in permissive living, an indulgent life style, the tendency to gregariousness, their love of parties, overeating and overdrinking and overworking. All of which causes the Crab to fuss and worry, and inform Libra that he or she is burning the candle at both ends. (How else could Libra burn a candle, and still be fair to the candle?)
Money is another area where these two usually see in opposite directions. Librans are not unduly wasteful or extravagant, but money isn’t the Big Thing to them it is to Cancer. To the Crabs, financial security and emotional security are of equal and vital importance. Possessing only one of these, and lacking the other, they can be pretty cranky and miserable. Possessing neither causes them to be so snappy and impossible even their mothers couldn’t love them, and for Cancer, that’s a rare and painful experience. But when Cancer possesses both kinds of security, the Moon person is magically transfigured into one of the most docile, dear, and tender human beings anyone could possibly ask for, including Libra, who sometimes asks a great deal of people, expecting everyone’s character and personality pluses and minuses to come out exactly even, and not a micrometer off center.
Despite Cancer’s apparent poor health and lack of physical strength, these people are, in the final analysis, much tougher in the art of surviving mentally, physically, and emotionally than Libra. After the deck is shuffled, Libra is the one more likely to give in to mental pressure and suffer a nervous breakdown, be broken hearted over emotional disappointments, or succumb to serious illness when the Scales are out of balance. When Cancer is ill, it may last a long time, true, but only because the Crab hangs on so tenaciously to everything, and sadly, seldom separates the positive from the negative. The Crab reaches out almost blindly, grabs hold, and hangs in there for dear life. Sometimes it takes Libra’s gentle reminder to bring a Moon person to his or her senses, to the realization that what is being clung to so fiercely is best released. Letting go is not easy for Cancer, and Libra will have some frustrating experiences trying to pry the Crab’s claws loose from bad habits, wrong ideas, and groundless fears.
This kind of tug-of-war is invisibly wearing on the delicate balance of Libra’s nervous system over a long period, and can bring on a kind of exhaustion of the spirit, which can, in turn, lead to lethargy and deep wells of unhappiness, not to mention considerably dampening Libra’s normal cheerful, affectionate, and optimistic nature. In Nature, as with people, an overabundance of water can make air soggy, foggy, and clammy, just as the right amount of water can make air moist, fresh, and exhilarating.
Libra is wasting time trying to keep a secret from Cancer. The Crabs will use every sly maneuver imaginable to pry out of a person what they wish to know. Cancer asks: What does so-and-so think of me, honestly? Libra replies, I don’t think I should take sides. Cancer says, That’s not fair of you, haven’t I supplied information you needed badly, lots of times? Libra hesitates, then sighs, gives in, and tells the Crab what he or she wants to know, being careful to list all the good things said, along with the bad. After Cancer hears the sought-for answer, the Crab may snap, I thought so. I’ll never speak to that person again, then leave the room in a huff; also leaving Libra nearly in tears over being forced into the position of agitator, when every fiber of Libra’s being is designed in the pattern of peacemaker. Crabs are ultra-ultra-ultrasensitive to the slightest criticism, and very tricky in ferreting out the whole truth, then either weeping in hurt or snapping in anger over only half the truth—and you know how an emphasis on only half of something drives Libra wild.
The best way for Libra and Cancer to make mellow music together is for each of them to concentrate almost constantly on the very real virtues of the other, even though those traits may be markedly different in each. Libra must remember that the imaginative dreams of Cancer, blended with Cancer’s incredible tenacity, are what allowed Moon Maiden Helen Keller to triumph so gloriously over the affliction of being struck deaf and blind at the age of nineteen months. She graduated cum laude from Radcliffe College, learned to knit, crochet, and use a typewriter, to swim, row a boat, and ride a bicycle. Traveling around the world, she gave inspirational talks (when she had so briefly ever heard the sound of a human voice) and wrote numerous books and articles to uplift the faith of others. Likewise, the sensitivity, insight, and perseverance of Cancer allowed Crab Nikola Tesla to use his remarkable memory and inventive genius to conceive of electronic miracles years ahead of his time, to be the first to implement the practical use of AC (or alternating electrical current), to patent 140 inventions of great practical value to Earthlings, one of which made possible the conception of radio broadcasting and receiving circuits used today—and to hang on to his Lunar dreams and visions, despite ridicule, lack of interest, and being cheated out of his rewards for his life’s work until after his death. Every Moon Child is made of the stuff of which Helen Keller and Nikola Tesla were made.
Conversely, Cancer might reflect upon what life would be like today had it not been for Libra’s desire for justice and need for creative expression—had the world not been blessed with the adaptability and peacemaking talents of Librans such as Dwight Eisenhower, George Westinghouse, and Giuseppe Verdi. Without their Venus abilities to create music for the soul, to be just compromisers who yet never compromised moral values, we might still be involved in World War II, our railroads would not be safe, and the Crab couldn’t listen to the soaring sounds of Aïda to calm his or her spirit. It was Mahatma Gandhi, the Libran peacemaker, who blended the teachings of Hinduism with the Nazarene’s Sermon on the Mount—in perfect harmony.
Once Cancer and Libra have learned to genuinely appreciate one another, great magic can result. An excellent example of this is the statement of Cancerian Crab Tesla, regarding Libran George Westinghouse: If other industrial firms had been as fair and liberal, and as just as George, I could have offered the world so much more.
Cancer and Libra should meditate upon those twenty-four words for a long, long time. They contain a mighty message. For both of them. Equally.
Cancer Woman and Libra Man
She had come to save him, to give him her nest, though there were eggs in it. I rather wonder at the bird, for though he had been nice to her, he had also sometimes tormented her.
Love has a way of turning a moody, secretive, and sometimes cranky female Crab into a lovely, solicitous, tender, and gentle Moon Maiden. If she should happen to be in love with a Libra man, she’ll begin to worry about him right away. He works too hard, he plays too hard, he eats all the wrong foods, he drinks too much, he doesn’t get enough rest, he lets other people take advantage of his good nature, he’s too easygoing, he’ll catch cold if he doesn’t stop running around in the rain without his rubbers, and he must stop losing his umbrellas, because umbrellas cost money, and the money spent on just the ones he lost last year alone could buy a new electric juicer to make vegetable juices to dilute the effect of the bad things he insists upon eating and drinking. Cancer cares. On his birthday, the Moon Maiden may give him an electric blanket, because she’s concerned about his comfort. Actually, it’s a hint that sleeping with her curled up beside him would be a much nicer way to keep his toes warm in winter.
Since Libra is a masculine Sun Sign, he will soon set her straight on his determination not to be either dominated or nagged. But he is ruled by the feminine planet Venus, which will harmonize nicely with her fluctuating Lunar moods, brought on by her ruling Moon, making her feel emotionally secure, which in turn will bring out all her sterling qualities of loyalty, patience, and devotion. For a while, all will be peace and tranquility.
Regardless of the rather marked differences in their dispositions and personalities, if he’s a typical Libra male, he won’t let much time drag by between falling in love and being tempted by the idea of marriage. When a Venus-ruled male is strongly tempted to do something with a female as tempting as this one, he’ll mull it over and find a thousand rational reasons why he should, finally deciding that the only way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. (That’s an example of Libra logic when it’s distorted by romantic desire and urges of the flesh.)
If he’s an evolved Libran, and if the aspect between their Luminaries is favorable (his Sun conjunct, sextile, or trine her Moon, or vice versa—or blessedly, both), he’s made a wise decision in proposing marriage to this soft, dewy-eyed creature with the hard shell, this fragile (ha!), sensitive and perceptive (true) Moon Maiden who exhibits such flattering concern for his welfare, and who stirs within him such deep emotions. (You can’t blame him for giving in to temptation when you really think about it.) If the aforementioned Sun-Moon aspect between their horoscopes is a square or an opposition, he may still have made a wise decision for the good of his eternal soul—but it could be kind of rough on his mind, body, and emotions. However, we must keep in mind what was noted in the first part of this chapter, that if they’re able to harmonize the disharmony, they’ll have the sort of love the angels enjoy, and that’s worth more than a little effort.
To the Moon Maid and the Libran: Listen, astrologically, I have for you some bad news and some good news. Which do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad?
|Libra:||Give me the good news first.|
|Cancer:||Give me the bad news first.|
I guess it has to be the bad news first, because their answers are a perfect demonstration of it—of the vastly different approach these two take toward any sort of situation, outside themselves or between themselves.
No other Sun Sign is by nature more unintentionally but determinedly pessimistic than Cancer (unless it’s Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn, but when the scores are added up, the Crab tops them all). And no Sun Sign is by nature as cheerfully, endlessly (and sometimes maddeningly) optimistic as Libra (unless it’s Aries or Sag, but Libra can beat them both to the finish line when it comes to chasing the rainbows).
Looking on the bright side of it, we may play Pollyanna and say that when his optimism and her pessimism are poured out of the same teapot day after day (and night after night), her influence will gradually make his optimism less gullible and more sensible—while his influence will gradually make her pessimism less depressing and a little more hopeful.
Looking on the dark side of it, we must admit that, by the very nature of its Webster definition, optimism cannot be made less gullible and cannot become sensible, or it wouldn’t be optimism anymore. Likewise, by the very nature of its Webster definition, pessimism can’t be made less depressing, because depressing is depressing, and degrees of it don’t count—and it certainly can’t be made hopeful, or it wouldn’t be pessimism anymore. Our efforts to help them are clearly becoming snarled in semantics.
We wouldn’t want them to solve the problem by trading these ingrained character traits with one another, because a pessimistic Libran would be a dreadfully unhappy man, and a totally optimistic Cancerian woman, lacking all caution, would be untrue to herself. Maybe a touch of anagrams would help. Optimism contains within it the word mist, pessimism contains within it the word miss. She might warn him (and beneficially, too) that TOO MUCH (those are the key words) optimism could form a mist over reality, which could cause his dreams to fade, when she so desperately wants them to come true because she loves him. He might, in turn, tell her that TOO MUCH (key words again) pessimism will cause her to unnecessarily miss a lot of happiness along the way that they could have shared together, a tragedy he wants her to avoid because he loves her so. The solution is Libra balance.
Now that we’ve solved that problem between them, let’s go on to the next piece of bad news, and save the good news for last, where it will have more power to cancel the complications.
She is emotionally possessive, and he is emotionally freedom-loving. It seems like an insurmountable conflict, yet it isn’t nearly as difficult a situation as each of them may individually talk themselves into believing it is. Not if they really love one another. To him: She isn’t possessive because she wants to smother you. It’s just her old fears from childhood nightmares, returning to haunt her. She’s afraid your love for her is only a mirage and it might disappear someday, leaving her all alone, unloved and unprotected. Surely you can be fair enough to be aware that these very real fears naturally increase when you’re out of sight, because she was frightened by the lie out of sight, out of mind when she was a little girl. To her: He doesn’t seek periods of freedom because he wants to plot ways of leaving you—or because he’s fallen in love with someone else. He was born into the Air Element, and when Air is confined, it grows stale. Forget that false warning of what happens when the man you love is out of your sight, and realize that it’s been proven a million times over that absence makes the heart grow even fonder. It’s a universal law of love that cannot ever be changed. Only if he doesn’t love you are you in danger of losing him when he’s out of sight—and if he doesn’t love you, you’re going to lose him anyway, and good riddance, because it will allow your real love to enter your life. If he does love you, he misses you more when you’re apart than you suspect, and far more than he’ll ever tell you if you keep making him think you don’t trust him.
A Libra man who truly loves and understands the Moon Maiden who tugs on his heart will invite her to go with him, even when it’s a boring business trip he feels would be sooner and more smoothly out of the way if he handled it alone, and really mean it when he asks her, remembering that people fall in love to be together, and things that keep them apart, that keep them from the constant excitement of discovery together, are enemies to their happiness, never mind the rules of society.
How can they share exciting discoveries together if the only time they see one another is at home, and the only exciting discovery is the baby’s new tooth or that the roof is leaking? If he sincerely and impulsively invites her to go with him when it’s at all possible, he’ll receive a touching surprise. Knowing at last that he really wants her near him, she’ll lose every trace of her Cancerian possessiveness, and tell him it’s all right, she has lots of things to do while he’s gone, just hurry back home—and she’ll really mean it, because his wanting her has removed all her Lunar fears. Then he may start worrying about why she doesn’t accept his invitation. These two must learn to quit while they’re ahead. Lovers are such strange Earthlings. So contradictory.
There are very few broken Cancer-Libra relationships that can’t be mended and glued back together like new if these two see together, holding hands, Neil Simon’s 1978 film The Goodbye Girl, because the last scene was inspired and channeled by the angels, just for them alone. If they’re reading this a decade or two or more from the time I’m writing it, I’d advise them to rent the film from a film library, then rent a projector or a screening room (or watch it when it’s on their television) and sit through the last scene several times. It contains the complete solution the Cancer woman and the Libra man are seeking—and the only answer they’ll ever need. If they don’t love, they should part quickly and painlessly. If they do, they should see this film and send Neil Simon a dozen daisies and daffodils every year on their anniversary all the rest of their lives together.
With a little help from Cancerian Neil, who understands the nature of Cancerian females, we’ve solved that problem. The next one involves money, and here I refuse to be the arbitrator, except to say briefly to him: Let her have a savings account and a couple of paid-up annuities to keep her happy—and to her: Stop making him feel he’s on the verge of bankruptcy, stop imagining poverty or you’ll manifest it into reality as sure as God made little green apples, as your grandma used to say—and when you do have cash, LET GO OF IT, give large chunks of it away to strangers on the street, yes, I said strangers on the street and don’t faint—and you’ll see it return to you three times over sooner than you dream possible. With all your Cancerian caution, you can’t change that Universal law of giving. How can you prove me wrong if you don’t try it?
The sexual side of their relationship can begin as a gift from the angels too, but it can end with their hearts feeling as empty as they once felt full. The time to prevent such a tragedy is before the curtain rises on it, in the first act of their play. Her seemingly never-ending suspicions may finally drive him into a feeling of futility that can be a prelude to impotence, just as his lack of insight into her deep need for sustained affection and romantic reassurance can drive her into her shell of emotional protection that can harden into frigidity. When they avoid the cause of such a mutually lonely effect by respecting and really thinking about Newton’s law of Cause and Effect, their physical love can be a beautiful experience of gentle passion, the kind of intimacy that makes them tremble just anticipating it in each other’s eyes, and brings them a new peace and contentment every time they rediscover themselves through its ancient alchemy.
Sexual union between a man and woman who love is like a remembered melody of inexpressible longing and silent fulfillment that can be wonderfully healing. Unlike many other couples, these two may use poetry as the language of their love. The typical Moon-ruled woman and Venus-ruled man aren’t embarrassed by expressing their feelings in this way, and also music will sometimes intensify the emotional depth of their lovemaking. There are many ways to say I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to hurt you.
The next time he has to leave her for a few days, he might give her a bottle of Je Reviens perfume and a French-English dictionary so she can learn that je reviens means I shall return … or maybe a Raggedy Ann, to show her he knows how it is with her inside, how she treasures yesterday because it seems more real and secure to her than today or tomorrow. She’s needed someone to understand this about her since she was a little girl crooning a gentle lullaby to her doll. Then she’ll give him a gift beyond measure—her complete trust.
Now for the good news. They are both sentimental. They’re both wonderfully imaginative, and they both believe in dreams. She has a beautiful sense of humor; he has a beautiful smile. They’re both subject to changing moods, but they’re both also touched by tenderness. Last but not least, the angels fight on their side, for having already been there, they’re well aware of the sacrifice of self involved in climbing the steep hill to happiness required of the 4-10 vibration, yet ever ready to promise that the view from that height is splendid—not a millimeter off center from beautiful.
Cancer Man and Libra Woman
… every door in the coral caves where they live rings a tiny bell when it opens or closes.. and he heard the bells.
Libra women are so full of love and loveliness, it really does seem as though bells ring when one is in their presence. Bells ring around most Gemini and Virgo women too, but they have a more delicate sound. Libra bells are deeper, more like the chimes you hear at Easter Sunday sunrise. It’s all part of the music of Venus, and you can just imagine the effect it has on the sentimental heart and sensitive, finely tuned awareness of the Moon-ruled Cancer man. Like the sound of a choir.
To add to the dreamlike quality of the experience, the Libra lady who has enchanted him looks an awful lot like an angel. Venus never fails to bestow upon those who are her children a haunting beauty of feature … if not that, then at the very least, a smile that can gladden the weariest soul. Sometimes a Libra female is fortunate enough to have received both of these Venus blessings at birth, and if so, the Crab doesn’t have much of a chance. Dazzled by all that beauty, softened by her brilliant smile, and hearing all those chimes at the same time …… can bring on more than a touch of Moon madness in this man of many moods.
Crabs have a sensational sense of humor, so the first thing he’ll do to impress her, shortly after they’ve met, is tell her a funny story. She will laugh, then.. not just an ordinary laugh, but a laugh very much like the one Peter Pan told Wendy about that breaks into a thousand pieces and creates the birth of faeries.. and he will hear those chimes again. Not only is her laughter musical, but her smile is a symphony, and she has the good taste to appreciate his humor.
Not long after this he’ll learn that, in addition to being beautiful and witty, softly fragrant and feminine, and overflowing with the velvet mystery of woman, she’s also extremely intelligent and can match his own cleverness in anything from chess to charades. She’s capable of being a surprisingly level-headed and creative silent partner in all his business affairs, maybe even an actual partner. She’s certainly smarter than all those dunderheads he’s used to dealing with who don’t laugh at his jokes and have to be told a dozen times how to accomplish the most simple tasks.
While he is being thus enchanted, so is she. Loving parties and people as she does, she’s met lots of men over the years, but they’ve bored her to tears. They’re so insensitive, so rude and demanding. They would never ask her advice about their businesses, jobs, or careers, because they think she’s only a woman, so what could she know about such matters? This always infuriates a Libra lady, to whom equality of the sexes is practically a religion. She doesn’t have to march in a Gay Pride parade (though she very well might) but equality is equality, and fairness is fairness to Libra.
Now here is this charming man, whose eyes are alive with intelligence and humor, whose manner is so warm and affectionate, who is so reflective and sensitive. He makes her feel so feminine, yet he admires, even encourages her intellect. He makes her feel that he truly needs her, and somehow … she feels so safe and secure with him, as though he would never allow anything ugly or gross or upsetting to trouble the new tranquility they’ve found. There’s something just a little old-fashioned and gallant about him, and it lifts her spirits in a strange way, makes her feel pleasantly protected. He understands the swinging of her Scales from lonely to lovely, from happy to hateful, because he’s moody too, and that causes him to be sympathetic to her own moods. Mostly, he’s so serene and patient, qualities that always appeal to Libra, who seeks the soothing and peaceful.
Why not get married? (She may think of this first.) He may hesitate. Maybe his mother doesn’t approve of her, or maybe he’s not sure she can replace his mother as The-Woman-Who-Adores-Him-Above-All-Else-In-The-World-Even-If-She-Sometimes-Doesn’t-Show-It-But-She-Usually-Does. Maybe he thinks he should concentrate on his career or business until it’s financially sound enough to support a wife and family. A Cancer man always looks before he leaps, and seldom rushes into anything. (To the female Crab who wants emotional and financial protection, marriage is the ideal answer, but the male Crab tends to seek the affection and emotional security he needs just as desperately by lengthening a love affair to its limit before he’s willing to contemplate wedlock.) The responsibilities of marriage worry him. Whether he loves her or not isn’t the issue. Of course he loves her, but …..
Her first reaction to his Crablike hesitation and crawling backward may be to become cool to his physical advances—or to torture him by pretending to be interested in other men, hoping that jealousy, fear of losing her—or a denial of physical passion—will overcome his caution. She hopes to convince him of the truth of Samuel Johnson’s observation that marriage may have many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. If the Sun and Moon in their nativities are in harmonious aspect, her strategy might work. Otherwise, it could only cause him to become snappy and cranky or to retreat into a shell of pouting. She’s been exposed to a myriad of his moods, but this may be a side of him she’s never seen. It will upset her, although she’ll try not to show it. Then she’ll turn on her Venus charm again, and begin to gently manipulate him with her soft voice and her dimpled smiles—attempt to win him over with a sort of combination of logic and serendipity. But with his acute perception, he’ll sense what she’s doing, and perhaps resist it by clinging to his caution even more tenaciously. His mother once told him that it’s more sensible to be safe than sorry, and that smartness succeeds better than softness in this harsh, cold world. So he’s always tried to be safe and sensible and smart. Now here is this beautiful, intelligent woman trying to make him be careless and impulsive.. and free. It confuses him, and makes him even crabbier.
He’ll fret privately over her extravagant nature and she’ll be annoyed at his unfair suspicions of her innocent friendships with others (but maybe not quite fair enough herself to realize she deliberately incited his suspicions). She’ll tell him he’s smothering her very soul, and refuse to answer his calls. But she misses him, she needs him, so she’ll try to see it his way again …… and again. He panics a little when they’ve quarreled, because the moment they’re apart, her air of happy optimism and the sheer loveliness of life when they’re laughing and loving together—haunts him. It’s so like the way he felt in childhood when life was sweet …… and simple. Will there ever be such beauty again with anyone else? He fears there won’t. In fact, secretly he’s sure of it, and that’s the dark enemy of their love—his secrecy, his reluctance to openly and directly express his feelings and thoughts to her. If he would, if he could, she might be able to help him make some sense of this strange Lunar magic they’ve discovered, help him find a way to believe in its goodness. But he perversely likes to keep her guessing about what he really thinks. It’s never as easy for Cancer to be as honest and open as Libra.
When they’re making love, they’ll say silently to one another, Let’s don’t think, let’s just feel. And so their physical intimacy makes their troubles fade, for a time. When a Cancerian man submits to pure emotion and feeling, he’s being his true self, free of the restrictions of his fears and worries. As a lover, he brings her the kind of peace and contentment he does because of these deep waters of his emotional nature. Sometimes, when they physically experience love, she’s reminded of a cool stream, and she’s a leaf, floating on its surface. The tenderness and imagination she brings to their Oneness has the same quieting effect upon him, and he relaxes, allowing love to fill his whole being, so there’s no room for anything but joy. The way she makes him feel at these moments is not something he’ll ever want to lose. But passion comes and goes, and always afterward there are the problems.
This being the difficult 4-10 Sun Sign Pattern, their conflicts and tensions, their impasse over permanency, and their divergent viewpoints aren’t easy to overcome. But if he uses his Cancerian tenaciousness to try harder to pull their differences together, instead of using it to pull their love apart—and if she uses her Libra fairness to comprehend his caution with more compassion for his feelings, and less concern for her own, they just might try again.. and maybe this time, they’ll make their poem rhyme, somehow learn to sing their song in tune. It’s a painful process for Cancer and Libra to reach a compromise, but his need to hear those Easter Sunday sunrise chimes again may cause the Crab to take another chance—and her need to be loved by a man who both cherishes her and respects her may bring her back into his arms to be told again how beautiful she is. While she’s gone, it’s funny how he still feels her head against his shoulder, now and then, in his dreams.. and last night, he was sure he heard her speak, but her voice was sad. With her wiser heart (for Libra is ahead of Cancer on the karmic wheel of life) he thought he heard her say to him, gently, You have so much to learn, darling … and I hope you never learn it, because it will bring pain, as learning always does, and I can’t bear for you to be hurt anymore. That’s why I had to go away. When he awoke, there were tears in his eyes, because her presence had been so real, he almost heard the music he’ll never quite forget.
The Moon both curses and blesses Cancer with a vivid memory, nearly photographic, sometimes, in its clarity. These two can find their way back home to each other if their need and their patience are both strong enough. But if not, even after the song between them has ended, his Lunar memory will return to him … haunting fragments of the lyric. Then he’ll regret certain things he didn’t say when she was near.. so he’ll just think about them sometimes when he’s alone.. and hope she hears them, wherever she is ……
… it’s like you told me once
if we never saw each other again
it wouldn’t make any difference
you didn’t say it wouldn’t matter
you said.. it wouldn’t make any difference
and did you know I understood the nuance?
it was so long ago.. but, did you know?
|Ruled by the Moon||Ruled by Pluto|
|Symbol: The Crab||Symbols: Scorpion & Eagle|
|Night Forces—Feminine||Night Forces—Feminine|