Aries and Cancer
… but of course neither of them understood the other’s language.
A Crab can become a little tense and edgy, spinning around on an Aries carousel. Because the Lunar physical-emotional metabolism is more delicate and fluctuating, Rams can exhaust Moon people with their excessive Mars enthusiasm, which flames in even the quieter, Sheep-type Arians, on occasion (and remember that the Sheep types are in the minority). Consequently, to the determined, somewhat reckless Ram, it may frequently seem as though the Crab disapproves of his (or her) behavior. What do these Cancerians expect you to do, wonders Aries—bury your confidence and develop an inferiority complex, just to please them?
Not necessarily. True, the Crabs might feel considerably more comfortable if the impulsive Mars rhythms could be slowed down a bit, to match their own, more cautious calliope music. But it won’t benefit the basic insecurity of Cancer to have Aries join him (or her) in wailing nobody-loves-me-everybody-hates-me-let’s-go-eat-worms. One weepy hang-up like that is sufficient in an association or a relationship. Why try for two?
Very few people are aware of how frantically Aries men and women (and children) seek acceptance while they’re rushing around feverishly courting rejection with their impulsive, thoughtless ways. Among those few aware ones are Cancerians, who themselves are abnormally sensitive to hurt. Even as they appear to frown on Aries rashness, they sense, with their acute perception, that the Rams are not always as tough as they act. Because of this perception, there can be some lovely and solid relationships between these two Sun Signs. However, since theirs is a 4-10 vibrational pattern, this association more often occurs in an unavoidable career, business or family situation, than in a romantic one. The Higher Selves of any two people influenced by the 4-10 vibration may possibly arrange matters this way, because of the heavier Karma, which must be leveled and harmonized, and human nature being as it is, few people would choose the tensions and conflicts of a 4-10 soul testing if there was a choice. Naturally, there are also love and marriage involvements between Aries and Cancer, from time to time. It’s just that the Ram and the Crab teams are more often found as relatives or co-workers—in a boss-employee or other career entanglement. Even those Rams and Crabs who are romantically attracted will usually first meet in a career or family atmosphere, or these matters will be a main topic of conversation between them initially.
If the Sun-Moon aspect between their natal charts is harmonious, this combination can be surprisingly financially successful and emotionally compatible. But if a negative Luminary or Ascendent aspect exists between their horoscopes, there will be some steep hills to climb, and much soul testing for durability.
Aries likes—and needs—to win. Aries also enjoys leading. Now, Cancer has nothing against either winning or leading. As for the latter, remember that Cancer is a Cardinal Sign of leadership, despite the Crab’s attempt to hide his or her desire to lead beneath a veil of feigned unconcern. Aries is also a Cardinal Sign, and the Ram’s horns being equally as tough as the Crab’s shell, you can see there may be a few skirmishes over who follows the leader in any game they’re playing. It’s a tricky problem, because when you have two leaders, how do you determine which one will follow? (Especially when neither has any intention of doing so.) It seems like an impossible situation, but there is a solution. They can walk side-by-side, with no one ahead, no one behind. It’s called compromise. Cancer tends to compromise with less pain than Aries, so it’s usually the Crab who must initiate the offer of truce between them. Aries may try, yet somehow manage to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way, tinged with too much ego, which leaves the Crab either snapping angrily, or weeping inconsolably.
All right, so now we have them (we hope) walking side-by-side toward the winner’s circle—peacefully, for a while—then up pop the differences between their personalities and strategies again. The Crab advances in a rather zigzag direction, never straight ahead, like the direct, straightforward Ram. The Cancerian approach to anything is deliberate, disguised and careful, never mind how many jokes they tell along the way to distract you from noticing their techniques. Whereas the Ram is ever ready to discard dead wood and clear the decks for action, the Crab wants to be sure that no one throws out the baby with the bath water, so to speak. That’s admittedly a mixed metaphor, but when discussing and describing Aries and Cancer, it’s permissible. No single metaphor, analogy or allegory would suffice to fit both of these divergent Earthlings, who often seem to each other to be from different stars or galaxies.
Life is one huge challenging contest to Aries, who rushes out to meet obstacles headlong and headfirst, even when he or she must go out of his or her way to find them. If they aren’t there, Aries will create a few, for what fun is a contest with no obstacles to overcome?
Indeed, obstacles attract Aries like bar magnets. Meeting with constant agreement everywhere both annoys and bores a Ram. Aries is either dismayed or furious when another person refuses to fight or argue. That takes all the excitement out of it. The Mars adrenalin surges, the Aries vitality is instantly recharged, in the face of any sort of opposition. Let a conflict loom on the horizon, and the Ram is in his or her glory, bravely facing the thrill of challenge, and the explosive excitement of meeting it victoriously. There’s nothing wrong with this, as long as Aries will stop once in a while to notice that there are other people in the world besides himself (or herself) and that they have feelings too. Aries people don’t mean to step on anyone’s sensitive feelings, but they’re so intent on getting wherever it is they’re going (and you can include the rare and more introverted Sheep types, along with the flashier Rams) that they can be inconsiderate and thoughtless without realizing it. Excluding those few Arians who may have a severely afflicted natal Sun or Mars, the typical Ram would never hurt anyone on purpose. Nevertheless, he (or she) does, especially the ultra-sensitive Crabs.
By now, you can see that one of the problems between Aries and Cancer is sensitivity to hurt. Aries people have little or no awareness of this particular weakness in themselves—it clashes with their self image of strength. Therefore, when Aries is hurt, the Mars-influenced reaction is to either immediately deny it, or to become defensively angry. Cancer’s vulnerability is carefully hidden, so the typical Cancerian reaction to hurt is to crawl inside the Crab shell and pout—or turn just plain crabby. If the wound is deep enough, either of these responses may be accompanied by a few buckets of tears and sometimes, the Lunar sensitivity peeks out from behind the Looney-Bird humor. When these two have hurt each other, one of them (Cancer) disappears into an inky blob of gloom, or an injured silence, punctuated by cranky snapping. The other (Aries), frustrated by the Cancerian retreat strategy, and feeling helpless to take any kind of action to resolve the disagreement between them, may then become furious, and release a torrent of words and actions, with the predictable effect of causing the Crab to burrow even deeper into the sands of silent pouting.
Just go back to Nature for a moment, via astrological symbolism, and picture an aroused ram butting his (or her) horns against the hard shell of an impervious crab, while it frantically digs deeper and deeper into the sand on the beach. On the beach? What is a ram doing messing around on the beach, beside the mysterious ocean, anyway? He’s out of his element. (So is she, if the Arian is female.) Just as the crab would be lost trying to crawl up the rocky mountain slopes where the ram is more at home. It requires a Sun-Moon trine or conjunction between their horoscopes—or a great deal of patient understanding from both—to bring these two very different astrological creatures together in a mutually acceptable emotional terrain. Even then, although they may learn to tolerate each other, and help each other grow, evolve and learn, the differences between them will be distinctly visible.
It’s true that Cancerians may hide in the mop closet when their feelings are hurt, and are normally quiet and reflective sorts (except when they’re making you giggle over their funnies), but they shouldn’t be considered by Aries to be totally impassive, easily molded or incapable of resistance. They may not fight with the flaming sword of Mars, and may prefer to tackle obstacles with serenity, secrecy and patience; yet Crabs are not altogether quivering, soft masses of fear. Correction: Crabs are quivering, soft masses of fear, but the Ram shouldn’t forget that hard shell they hide under while they’re shivering and quivering. It’s not advisable to rap one’s knuckles on it. Whereas the Ram is inclined to favor instant and open attack when security is threatened, the Cancerian man or woman will, as unobtrusively as possible, first attempt to seek the underlying root cause of the trouble, then maneuver out of it gradually, with a secret strategy and incredible tenacity of purpose. The Crab’s ability to hang on to your toe, ear, finger—or a notion—until it gets what it wants, should never be overlooked or underestimated. (That goes for both boy Crabs and female Crabs.)
Aries and Cancer have different motivations, different approaches to life—and different goals. But if each will give something of his (or her) basic goodness to the other, both of their lives will be greatly enriched. This is a Fire and Water combination; therefore, each is subconsciously aware that the other can destroy him (or her). Too much Aries Fire can dehydrate Cancer’s delicate feelings. Too much Cancerian Water can drown the Ram’s enthusiastic, shining hopes. Fire represents optimism, in astrology—Water, pessimism. The two elements seem to be incompatible; yet another word for pessimism is caution, a commodity with which Aries could beneficially experiment—and another word for optimism is faith, a quality Cancer would find very useful.
If they’re willing to take the time to translate the message of each other’s hearts, who knows how high the dreams of the Ram and the Crab can reach together? Perhaps all the way to the Moon—or to Mars.
Aries Woman and Cancer Man
She wanted to risk it, come what might, but that was not his way …
Like all females born under masculine Sun Signs, who are, in addition, ruled by a masculine planet (in this case, Mars), the Aries woman has private doubts about her femininity. Ever since dancing school, she’s been reluctant to let her partner take the lead.
Most of the fellows she’s waltzed around have panicked when they weren’t allowed to set the pace and the rhythm of the relationship, and the male machismo mystique being what it is, her feminine macha caused them all to stalk off to look for a girl willing to humor their fantasies of superiority. The female Ram is far too honest to imitate her more submissive Sun Sign sisters by pretending to allow the man to initiate every word and action, while she smiles with amused tolerance behind his back. There’s a perfect example of that sort of well-meant but demeaning deception in Margaret Mitchell’s great American novel, Gone With The Wind, when the dying Melanie says, of Ashley, Look after him, Scarlet—but never let him know.
After a few heartbreaking experiences of discovering that honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to romance, an Aries female may understandably (and justifiably) begin to have some inner traumas as she wonders about her desirability as a woman. Then along comes a Cancerian man to court her (yes, I said court her) with a respectful, gallant courtesy, like a Prince straight out of a storybook. Not only that, he makes her laugh a lot, and laughter never fails to brighten a Ram’s disposition, making her sweeter to be around. From the very beginning, he makes it clear that she excites him and thrills him, no matter who walks through the door first, which one starts the conversation or who initiates a telephone call. At last! She can finally do and say what comes naturally around a man—and he still loves her. No wonder it’s an intoxicating experience for her. It may be the first time she’s ever felt like a member of the opposite sex.
When he convinces her she’s not the wicked old witch after all, that she’s really lovely, desirable Snow White (as she always suspected) it can be exhilarating—for a while. Assuming there’s a harmonious aspect of interchange between their Luminaries, Ascendents and other major horoscopic positions in their nativities, her daydreams have a good chance of coming true. Otherwise, Snow White could find herself living in the woods with only one of the Seven Dwarfs—Grumpy—and still waiting in vain for the Prince.
An Aries female will never be permanently at peace with herself until she discovers a man who will want her to love him freely and openly, without quibbling over who initiates the first goodnight kiss, and without pouting if she occasionally interrupts him with a sudden burst of cheerful, enthusiastic chatter. She needs a man who understands that if he’ll just allow her to be herself, she’ll give him all the adoring love he needs to feel strong and virile and masculine. Just murmuring Whatever you say—or whatever you decide, dear (with a hidden smirk) is romantic hypocrisy, a travesty of honest devotion. Her love is direct. It shrinks into restless frustration when it’s restricted by petty arguments over what constitutes the difference between masculinity and femininity. She loves him with all her heart and soul and mind and being—isn’t that enough? Yes. It should be—and it very well may be, for a male Crab. But Rams have other areas of friction with Cancerians.
Both of them are intensely jealous. The chief difference is that Cancer enjoys it more than Aries. To the Crab, jealousy simply proves how much he’s loved and needed, and with this woman, he’ll get all of that kind of proof he needs—maybe a little more than he can handle. Jealousy can sometimes bring a sense of emotional security to the Ram too—just a light touch of it, now and then. But when it’s overdone to the point of smothering possessiveness, it can sharply cramp her life-style, which is friendly, free and gregarious—and the truth of it is that a Cancerian lover or mate may lay it on with a heavy hand, once the courting gallantry is over, and he’s sure she is his. Of course, it’s equally true that his Crab-like trait of hanging on, when it comes to love, is an indication of his inclination toward loyalty and faithfulness. She certainly has no objection to that. In her opinion, it’s the very least one should expect from true love. It’s when his loyal devotion subtly and gradually is transformed into clinging, which brings the feeling of being fenced in, that she’ll show flashes of resentful rebellion.
Each of these two Sun Signs is as fond of money, fame and recognition as the other. However, the Crab hides his ambition better. Although they share the same basic goals of emotional security and financial success, they have rather seriously conflicting ideas about how to achieve them—as well as what to do with money, when it’s there. (She wants to spend it, or give it away, to create a nice, smooth cash flow—he wants to save it to make it expand into a higher balance.) Even before either of them achieves any degree of material success, there will be disagreements. Aries is optimistic, positive, sure of winning. Cancer is often pessimistic, negative and fearful of the future (Crabs call it sensible caution)—and this is where these two may need an interpreter to communicate.
It’s impossible for the Ram to comprehend how the Crab hopes to win, at the same time he’s expecting to lose. To Aries, this puzzling Cancerian attitude was expressed perfectly by physician-philosopher Jean-Baptiste Baudin, when he wrote: To be ambitious for wealth, and yet always expecting to be poor; to be always doubting your ability to get what you long for, is like trying to reach East by traveling West. There is no philosophy which will help a man succeed when he’s always doubting his ability to do so, and thus attracting failure. Granted, there are more July birthdays in Who’s Who in Industry and Commerce than any others (except Taurus and Capricorn), but that’s because the Cancerian has going for him a more than adequate substitute for courageous Aries optimism—a hard-shell tenacity of purpose.
There’s not much use trying to explain this to an Aries female. She’s familiar with a term like determination, but she doesn’t understand the word tenacity, because it diametrically opposes her most evident quality—impatience. Tenacity implies waiting, and this woman loathes to wait for anything, from a bus or a red light to the arrival of her current lover at the door when they have a date—or her husband’s arrival home from work, if she’s a married Ram. Let him be five minutes late, and she either phones the police in impulsive panic, or paces the floor, working up sufficient steam to leap on him with reproaches when he does arrive. Her Cancerian lover or mate’s general attitude toward ambition and success, with or without the tenacity, utterly confuses her. She believes in simple things, that people should face the direction in which they wish to travel, and she faces the East. How can he ever expect to arrive in New York when he’s headed toward California? All right, so the world is round, and he may eventually get there, but it takes so much time that way.
There are several possible outcomes for the dilemma. She can become desolate in the face of his moody spells of depression, and finally decide she must escape, to avoid the fate of seeing every last one of her fiery aspirations submerged in his watery Cancerian pessimism. Or she can try to cheer him out of his periodic melancholy with her own strong Mars faith, by boosting his spirits with courage and humor—like reminding him of the old proverb that every time a sheep bleats, it loses a mouthful of hay. He can throw up his hands in defeat at her impulsive emotions and financial extravagance, take off alone with his stamp collection and his old fishing hat—or he can gently, patiently teach her that caution does sometimes make sense, and that counting to ten has the benefit of never adding up to a total of zero.
Another trouble spot could be this man’s tendency to keep secrets. The Aries woman is not so closely molded in the image of the Sphinx as he. When the Crab refuses to tell her what’s on his mind, she may imagine all sorts of far-out things, and torture herself into a fit of Mars hysteria. He’ll soon learn (let’s hope) that it’s more peaceful in the long run to come completely clean with her. To level. If he clams up, she’ll just pry until she sees it’s no use, then decide the whole thing isn’t worth the energy and heartache—and possibly leave him. Suddenly. With little or no warning. Remember, Aries will waste no time on a situation that’s been analyzed as impossible to change. It could end with the Crab still sitting on his secrets, while she skips off chanting Edna St. Vincent Millay’s lines: Thanks be to God, the world is wide, and I am going far from home—and I’ll forget in Camelot the man I loved in Rome. He will weep.
Then, too, there’s Mama. If his mother is still living, the female Ram who loves a boy Crab may have some stiff competition for his devotion and attention, perhaps not when they first meet—but she won’t avoid it forever. If his sainted mother has passed on, Mama’s qualities could take on added luster, seen through the sparkling glass of memory. Did his mother never scorch a shirt, bake flat biscuits, sing off key, waste money or lose her temper? No. Never. Not one single time. Did his mother always save cash, look prettier by sewing her own clothes, string her own beans, wear just the right amount of makeup and know exactly what to say to make him smile when he was blue? Yes. She did. Always. In a strange way, it might work to their benefit, the Mama thing. A glowing example like that is surely a challenge, and this woman can’t resist struggling to meet a challenge. She may become nearly as perfect as he thinks his mother is—or was—just to prove to him that no one can top a Ram.
In their sexual life, adjustments will also be necessary. When love is new, his tender consideration for her desires and needs will make her feel cherished, therefore emotionally secure. (Both of them have this incredible hang-up about needing emotional security.) He’ll be, in the beginning, a fabulous lover. A Cancerian can be as imaginative, subtle and clever in the bedroom as he is at the bank. Her frankness and lack of guile concerning sex, a sort of unconscious vulnerability in her, will stir him deeply. Regardless of past experiences, an Aries female always brings a kind of fresh innocence to her approach to lovemaking—in addition, when she loves, she loves fiercely and passionately, truly giving all of herself in total honesty, and this will make him feel emotionally secure. But she may be unable to remember the thrill of their original physical compatibility when he’s been cranky and moody for a few days and refuses to respond to her affectionate advances. What appears to be (but isn’t) his rejection of her can considerably dampen her erotic enthusiasm. It’s the Moon. She’ll just have to wait until the Moon changes, and stops pulling his emotions back and forth like a piece of taffy. What she should not do during these temporary Lunar phases that threaten to eclipse their happiness is become angry, and say things to wound him she’ll later regret. He’ll crawl into his Crab shell and stay there, for this man is acutely sensitive. However much he may joke about it, he is—and sexual hurt will cause him to retreat into brooding passivity for long periods. Or worse yet, he could seek the solace of alcohol’s seductive siren song.
On the happy side of this relationship, a Crab can be very amusing and entertaining, and can make anything from counting money to digging clams wacky fun, with loads of laughs. His beautiful sensitivity and his gentlemanly air of protectiveness can bring out all the femininity in his Aries lady. He’ll secretly be proud of her courageous mind and bright spirit, no matter how he grumbles about her immaturity, and he’ll grow to depend on her for the emotional support he needs when the Moon sends fragments of old fears from childhood to haunt him. On the negative side, she may believe he’s too stern at times, too fussy or stingy, while he may feel she’s not capable of taking care of herself without a keeper. He could now and then drown his disappointments in drink or drugs, always a very real danger with a Water Sign—and she could now and then lose her quick fiery temper in such a way that it takes a long time to atone for the pain it caused.
This is a man who’s not ashamed of sentiment; he’s affected by music, art and poetry, and when his heart is moved, tears come to his eyes—and this is a woman whose own heart needs a great deal of tender, loving care, for she is, emotionally, an infant, whatever her chronological age. If they crossbreed her Aries initiative with his Cancer tenacity, they might achieve wonders. Their natal Suns are squared, and so it will require lots of patience—and lots of love. But then, doesn’t everything?
Aries Man and Cancer Woman
Hullo, Wendy, he said, not noticing any difference, for he was thinking chiefly of himself.
Hullo, Peter, she replied faintly, squeezing herself as small as possible. Something inside her was crying.
An Aries man is initially lured by a Cancerian woman because she seems so appealingly helpless and feminine (Note: I said she seems helpless. We’ll take that up later. Appealing and feminine she definitely is, no argument there.) She appears to need his strong masculine shoulder to cry on, his fiery emotional support.
When the Moon Maiden gives a Ram her flattering, undivided attention, it proves to him what he’s always suspected—that no woman can resist him. She’ll cook for him, baby him, laugh at his jokes, add some pretty funny ones of her own and generally make his life one long, sweet song of soothing serenity, with comical lyrics. But the music he hears could be a prelude to a slowly growing feeling of being smothered. As you well know, if you’re at all acquainted with astrology, Rams do not like to be smothered—by blankets, authority or restriction of any kind—not even by love. Smothered in attention is fine, but the Aries male draws a line at having his freedom squeezed out of him. Now, it’s true that no one can squeeze away a man’s freedom as painlessly and pleasurably as a Cancerian female. If she’s subtle about it, as most Moon Maids are, a Ram could find the trip on her romantic flying carpet a thrilling experience (she has a deep-seated wanderlust hiding behind her homemaking knacks, you know). However, if the Crab shows signs of beginning to cling too closely, the Aries male may jump off the carpet, without a parachute, if necessary.
About her feminine helplessness: He’ll sooner or later learn that it’s somewhat of an illusion—maybe someday when she incorporates her own bank, redecorates a friend’s house, runs for Congress or rescues a child from drowning in the ocean, beating the lifeguard to the spot. Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and these women possess an amazing stamina and tenacity, along with all that moonlight fragility. After the first shock has worn off, he’ll probably admire her for it. He admires any kind of strength, and she’s far stronger than her timid tears when he’s hurt her feelings (which may be frequently) might indicate. He could even fall more deeply in love with her when he discovers she’s not all sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice, since he essentially needs a woman who will fight back with him now and then.
But other sour notes may threaten to spoil love’s concert between these two Sun Signs—like money. She has a pronounced compulsion to accumulate it, maybe even paper the bedroom, kitchen and nursery walls with it (her three favorite rooms). To her, financial security is synonymous with emotional security. The two are inseparable. He likes money too, and can think of hundreds of exciting uses for it, but stashing it away in a rusty old trunk in the attic or a bank vault for a rainy day is not at the head of his list. To Aries, money is to spend (or give away). His motto is: Money can’t buy happiness. Since they’re both in love and happy, who’s worried about cash? She is. She’s worried about it. Because, you see, her motto is: Happiness can’t buy money. The Aries man contemplating a ring-around-the-rosy with a Moon Maiden should think about that. Carefully. He still won’t agree with it, but he should think about it.
It won’t be long until he notices her moodiness. Of course, he’s moody too, but that’s different and understandable. With Aries, everything is different and understandable when they do it—also justifiable and permissible, as well as excusable. (Remember, Aries is the adorable but totally self-centered symbolic Infant of the zodiac.) Her moods he considers to be uncalled-for damp prisons of gloom, and it must be admitted that they are deeper, more indigo and longer lasting than his. Sometimes it happens that a Ram cheers a female Crab out of her periodic Lunar melancholy with his sheer optimism. It makes him feel strong and masculine, and gives her the emotional stability she needs. But there’s a danger that he may eventually revolt against a fluctuating depression he can’t fathom, if only because it frightens him into thinking that perhaps his self-made Mars miracles don’t have the power to swing the Universe he believed them to have. Rather than face that horrible thought, he could split. He may not get too far. She’s kind of nice to come home to, and make up with—and who else bathes his ego in such charming shades of lavender and soft green, with such silvery sincerity? She’s funny and tender at the same time, and eternally capable of pulling him out of those holes he jumps into, head first. Besides, she bakes a terrific blueberry muffin—and the chemical attraction between them is an added attraction. It might not have been what first drew them together, the initial interest might have been based on other things … but after a while it grew into a positive aspect of their relationship well worth considering.
Her Lunar imagination quickly sparks the flame of his Martian sexuality, and his enthusiastic, idealistic lovemaking can pull her out of her bashful (or snappy) shell into a beautiful fulfillment of latent passion. There’s an affectionate quality in the Aries approach to sex that may reach a part of her nature which has timidly hidden itself behind her crazy, Looney Bird laughter until the right man came along to find it. Unfortunately, however, this woman’s ingrained sense of Cancerian practicality soon tells her that man can’t live with hyacinths alone—he needs bread. (Cancer sometimes has a way of twisting truisms around, or reversing them, to accent the negative, and eliminate the positive.) That’s when the real cash conflict may begin, when she mentions money in the middle of some romantic interlude, just as the two of them are about to become one. Suddenly, sexual closeness is replaced by an emotional explosion.
Any relationship between Aries and Cancer is usually subjected to a generous sprinkling of fights over money—how to obtain it, and how to dispose of it. He’s extravagant, she’s thrifty. At least, she’s normally economical, until she spins into one of her many moods, triggered by the phases of the Moon, and indulges herself in a buying spree of feminine frivolities to boost her sagging ego. Most other times, however, she’s a little reluctant to part with cash, to put it mildly.
If they manage to overcome the sensitive point of finances, through mutual give-and-take, Aries and Cancer possess the potential of building some solid dream castles together, especially if there’s a trine, sextile or conjunction between his Sun and her Moon, or vice versa. Her combination of creative flights of fancy and a common sense attitude about cash (an odd contradiction in Cancerians) coupled with his audacity and Mars determination, will usually give this Sun Sign couple immunity from the need to apply for loans. Still, the problems aren’t over. Her moods keep popping up to plague them.
He may fail to comprehend the delicacy of her emotional needs and be completely baffled by her changing moods. Perception is not an Aries strong point. It can throw him into a fit of perplexity. What could he have done wrong? (Nothing. I keep telling you, it’s the Moon.) Only moments ago, she was skipping around like a dodo bird chattering and giggling and humming a tune, feeding the kitten soybean cakes—all smiles. And now, tears. What happened? Check The Farmer’s Almanac, or the evening paper. It may be the Full Moon. Or it may be that her feelings have been bruised by something he didn’t even realize he said. Perhaps he failed to notice her new dress, or forgot to tell her how delicious her carrot casserole was. Ever since childhood, she has feared that no one loved her. He’ll have to gently teach her that the best way to get love—is to give love. (This won’t be easy, since it’s a lesson he desperately needs to learn himself.) The Aries man should remember that the way to keep a Moon Maiden happy is to be sure she always receives lots of love, lots of food and lots of money. She’s not greedy, she’s just security-hungry, and that’s not the same thing at all. I left out something. If she’s a typical Lunar lady, add to the list—lots of babies. Well, at least a few.
A Ram is nearly always enthusiastic about approaching fatherhood, and she’ll adore this quality in him. But after the bundles of joy grow out of their booties into Buster Browns, they may begin pulling their parenthood wagon in opposite directions. He believes in teaching the youngsters to be independent. Although he can be bossy and demanding with them, his general inclination is to give them lots of room to grow in. She takes motherhood seriously, and I mean very seriously. She’ll closely scrutinize their food, clothing, romances, careers and health. They’ll be stuffed with pea soup, cuddled, coddled and watched over—all done in a spirit of friendly persuasion, of course. Mama knows what’s best, what’s right to eat and wear, who’s wrong to love and marry. All this could lead to his accusing her of smothering their individualities—and to her accusing him of being too harsh, and too detached, by turns. The offspring may feel they’re being slowly squashed between two cement walls, at times. Compromise in child raising is a must, or this relationship will crack irreparably.
The Ram’s ability to give and receive love depends upon his image of himself as the strong one. He needs constant freedom of expression and action. His woman must have absolute faith in his ability to move mountains. Otherwise, his frustrated emotions may form strange neurotic patterns, turning him from a courageous Ram into a meek, unhappy sheep. Like being under a witch’s hex. She should never remind him that she is better than he at juggling the bank balance (even if she is)—or anything else that may cut sharply into his masculinity. If she refrains from tossing wet blankets on his dreams, he’ll stay close to home, contentedly. If she allows him to lead the parade, without dampening his hopes, he’ll be able to make her mountains of secret worries and fears disappear forever. But there’s always the possibility that her despairing silences, sulky temper and occasional touches of hysteria will drive him right up the side of her money-papered walls, and out of the house—and that his rash words and impulsive behavior will bring her watery nature to a boil, until it sloshes over and drowns his incentive.
When she’s weeping, and he doesn’t know why, he shouldn’t storm out of the room impatiently. He should take her in his arms, and lullaby her with tender reassurances, to stem the tides of fear and loneliness rising in her, whispering softly, Please don’t cry, and don’t worry. Everyone loves you because you’re so smart and so pretty, and you tell funny stories. Besides, we’re almost sure to be rich someday. And as for me, I love you even more than other people do, and that’s really a bunch. You don’t have to offer to do the neighbor’s laundry. We’re not quite that poverty-stricken, and we never will be. Now, I want you to wash your face, brush your hair, blow your nose, and get dressed in something beautiful, because I’m going to take you out to dinner. He should then mention the name of the most expensive, exclusive restaurant in town. She’ll stop sniffling right away.
All nine courses—including the dessert tray? she’ll ask, then, tentatively, her eyes beginning to sparkle.
Yes, darling, all nine courses, including the dessert tray.. and afterwards, we’ll go to a movie, whichever one you want to see.
That last promise ought to do it. It may be the first time in years the thoughtlessly selfish Ram has allowed her to choose which film to see.. or anything else.
|Ruled by Mars||Ruled by the Sun|
|Symbol: The Ram||Symbols: Lion & Shy Pussycat|
|Day Forces—Masculine||Day Forces—Masculine|