Aries and Virgo
Indeed they were constantly bumping… if they saw a cloud in front of them, the more they tried to avoid it, the more certainly did they bump into it.
Aries likes to generalize, hates to bother with details, and is bored by meticulous analysis. Virgo is meticulous, likes to analyze details, and abhors generalities. That gives you some idea of the distance between these two Sun Signs to begin with—and now that we’ve begun, here are a few more.
Rams initiate all their actions from pure feeling—they trust their emotions and are skeptical of undue practicality. Virgos are practical, they trust their mentality, and are skeptical of pure feelings and emotions. When Aries people are upset, they’ll usually shout it from the rooftops and open up their grievances to air them out. When Virgos are upset, they keep it buried inside and shut up their grievances to gather the rust of resentment. Rams are careless of their physical health, yet they’re seldom chronically ill. Virgos are extremely careful of their physical health, yet they frequently complain of assorted symptoms of illness. And that’s only a partial list of their differences.
Both of them are usually quick to help others, although their motivations are somewhat different. Arians do it because it makes them feel good to be the cause of happiness, since it proves to them that they can pull off a minor miracle anytime the occasion arises. Virgos do it because it gives a Virgin the nervous twidgets to stand by and see confusion adding up to chaos, when a little clear thinking would, in their practical opinion, untangle all the snarls. It’s instinctive for a Virgo to step in, take a nip and tuck here and there, then go on his or her way without either waiting for or desiring any thanks. Aries won’t wait around too long for thanks either, but you’d better believe the Ram desires it. If it isn’t forthcoming, Aries will be both hurt and angry, unlike Virgo, who doesn’t really expect too much of people anyway, and is therefore capable of shrugging off ingratitude by chalking it up as just another one of the many imperfections of human nature.
It’s true that both of them lean toward purity of purpose. Each wistfully longs for the beauty of the spirit and seeks a shining ideal. Aries and Virgo ride together on a mutual search for truth and loveliness, but when their snow-white steeds reach a fork in the road, they take off in different directions. The Rams blindly and instinctively believe they’ll find what they’re looking for, despite all disappointments and the apparent impossibility of success. Virgos have little or no hope of ever actually discovering the Holy Grail, and even if they did, you can be sure they would find a chip in it.
Still, regardless of all these split-offs in their personality patterns, the Ram and the Virgin, when their paths cross, can find a strange comfort in their relationship. If it’s business, admiration and respect—and a mutual desire to help one another—will nearly always result from the association. If it’s friendship, it will probably take a business twist somewhere along the way. In the family circle, there’s also much warm satisfaction possible through this blending of the two divergent natures, influenced by the 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern vibration.
Aries and Virgo often confide things in each other they would never tell anyone else. They seem to sense that the mutual trust implied by intimate confession won’t be violated—and it seldom is, though the Ram may find it hard to conceive of how the situation described by Virgo could ever have developed, considering his or her own outlook. Likewise, the Virgin will sincerely sympathize with the Ram’s experiences, even while privately failing to comprehend why they were ever permitted to occur.
Yet, no matter how close Aries and Virgo may be, Aries will feel deeply Virgo’s frown of displeasure when he (or she) is late for an appointment, goofs off, or becomes careless and irresponsible. It’s never as easy for the Ram to enjoy work as it is for the Virgin. What Aries views as harmless procrastination, Virgo interprets as an almost sinful waste of valuable time. Of course, after office, study, or family obligations are properly attended to (all of which may take endless time and attention), when there are no guilty twinges because everything is nicely snuggled away in its own cubbyhole—the Virgins often lead rather interesting and, in rare cases, even shockingly unorthodox private lives, when they lose those compulsive worries.
Sooner or later, after these two have spent a reasonable amount of time together, the Rams will be sure to remind Virgo of his or her inclination toward unnecessary worry and receive a reply like, What compulsive worries? I don’t allow things to bother me to excess. Whereupon Aries is likely to retort, Oh, no? How about the morning last week when you missed your daily shower because you couldn’t find the Ivory Soap, and you won’t use any other kind—spilled a drop of ink on your shoe, and found a fly in your soup at lunch? You had a splitting headache and nervous indigestion for days afterward.
The Virgo rejoinder probably will be, That is somewhat exaggerated and incorrect. The indigestion lasted only three hours and forty-five minutes, and it was caused by that dreadful, greasy soup I ate, not by my nerves. The headache lasted sixty-five minutes—not several days—and was the result of my not getting enough sleep the night before, not from compulsive worries. I missed my shower, not because I couldn’t find the particular bar of soap I always use, but because I was late for an appointment. As for the ink, naturally I was a little upset about ruining a twenty-two-dollar pair of shoes I’ve only worn for a couple of years. I can’t afford to be as casual about money as you are.
That last remark is Virgo’s tactful way of accusing Aries of being extravagant. Virgins are careful to maintain scrupulous politeness when they’re annoyed, so their irritability is softened by their typical courtesy.
Because Virgos are so analytical and fond of clarity, Aries people are inclined to look on them as picky and cold. Far from being cold, however, Virgos are the most inwardly sentimental of all the Sun Signs. (The important word in that sentence is inwardly. It causes all the misunderstandings.) Their very discrimination itself implies high ideals for things and people to live up to, and when they don’t—well, anyone would be cranky once in a while, from being so constantly disillusioned. Virgos are frequently nervous around Aries people because the Virgins dislike being openly firm—and dealing with a Ram requires, at times, being openly firm. The Arian impulsiveness can cause Virgo to feel secretly inadequate because of being helpless to change a situation, so they’ll sometimes try to cover the feeling with a judgmental attitude—a kind of silent disapproval. It doesn’t really matter what kind it is. Any kind of disapproval will annoy Aries, even if it’s only vaguely implied and not verbalized. It is, nevertheless, felt or sensed. The typical Aries man or woman isn’t looking for reasonable discussions or cool, sensible Virgo remarks about right and wrong, what’s proper and practical, and what is not. Rams respond beautifully to generosity of spirit in others—and quite unpleasantly to stuffiness or criticism. Aries will often rebel and struggle for identity in a close association with a Virgo because he (or she) considers calm, rational talks a cold substitution for affectionate warmth, friendliness, and an open-hearted manner.
Yet, when there’s a favorable aspect between the Sun and Moon in the charts, Aries and Virgo can grace one another with many mutual blessings. In an Aries-Virgo association where there is such a harmonious Luminary influence, the Ram may surprise himself (or herself) by following Virgo’s quiet example and paying serious attention to Virgo’s always well-meant and helpful advice. And the Virgins will surprise themselves too, by allowing the Rams to coax them into losing many of their inhibitions and dropping a few layers of their usually sedate behavior. All it really takes for this combination to blend smoothly is for each person to spend more time concentrating on the virtues of the other, rather than dwelling on the differences.
The clerk in the supermarket who frowns at the cash register and crankily scolds you for not taking your place in line is probably a Virgo. But the softly smiling, mild-mannered, and bright clerk who courteously answers your questions about where the soybean patties are kept and when the fresh melons will be available, and cheerfully helps you pick up the things that spilled from your cart is probably also a Virgo.
The customer who aggressively demands to be waited on immediately in a store, than leaves all the clothes hanging on a peg in the dressing room, after trying them on impatiently and deciding they all look dreadful—is probably an Aries. But the friendly, trusting person who will loan a stranded, out-of-town stranger ten dollars without even asking why it’s needed is probably also an Aries.
The thing of which Virgo is seldom aware is that Aries senses unerringly whether the Virgin’s concern over his or her welfare stems from genuine devotion, affection, and friendliness—or merely from a dutiful obligation. And when it stems from the latter, the Ram would just as soon try to manage alone as to accept help from someone whose true sympathy and heart isn’t involved in the offer, however much he (or she) may need Virgo’s assistance and advice.
As far apart as they seem to be at first glance, however, Aries and Virgo can stumble upon some happy surprises when they hike along together and take care to avoid the thistles, brambles, and thorns of disagreement. In the Ram, the Virgin can find someone really worthy of helping toward achievement, someone who will generously shower Virgo with a warmly enthusiastic and touching gratitude in return, someone who may even be able to unlock the little doors of those Virgo inhibitions and private longings. In the Virgin, the Rams can find the sincere appreciation they need—and a heart as honest and loyal as their own. Virgo can teach Aries to discover beauty in small things, to know the wisdom of waiting—to believe in the eventual success of patience. Aries can teach Virgos to discover and believe in themselves.
Aries Woman and Virgo Man
He was so much the humblest of them, indeed he was the only humble one, that Wendy was specially gentle with him.
When anyone describes an Aries woman as pushy, bossy, emotional, impulsive, impractical, and impossibly immature, the Virgo man who has loved her will nearly always disagree. He didn’t find her to be any of those things.
To him, she was a lot of woman—perhaps too much woman for him to handle—but he remembers her as direct and honest, fresh and innocent. She was generous with her time and money, he’ll say. She shared my idealism about love, taught me many things, and treated me gently and kindly. She may have been a little hurt or jealous occasionally, but she never created any really violent scenes. She was always willing to talk it over with me—to listen to reason. And when we made up after a minor quarrel, she made me believe in happiness all over again, like the very first time. She was gentle, affectionate—and eternally young.
When he finishes that nostalgic speech, his companion will probably ask, Are you sure she was an Aries?
Yes, she was an Aries, ruled by Mars, the planet of war and aggressive action. But an Aries woman surprisingly often will show her softer side, her hidden femininity, and her deep latent capacity for unselfish love to a Virgo. When she finds a man who’s kind and considerate, a man who admires her courage and her bright mind, who seldom competes with her, who teaches her tenderly, sympathizes with her faults, and has faith in her dreams—she trusts him with her whole heart. Her hidden Aries insecurities and secret fears of inadequacy melt away, and with them, the need to assert herself forcefully, in the mistaken belief that to conquer is to win—in love, as in war. The necessity for combat disappears when the total love she seeks so desperately is given to her as a gift, purely and completely, as Virgo love is always given, with no strings attached.
Then why didn’t it last? Virgo’s instinctive fear of matrimony. Since the Aries woman is unable to see patience as a virtue and expects all her wishes to come true instantly, the second she says abracadabra, she may lose heart (perhaps too soon), run away in tears, and eventually convince herself it was only a lovely friendship. Strangely enough, that’s just what a broken love affair between these two frequently becomes after the scars have healed. Thanks to Virgo’s inbred courtesy and gallantry, there are fewer bitter memories than those which usually linger after a shattered romance between other Sun Signs.
Still, sometimes love does last forever between Aries and Virgo, and when it does, Life can be very beautiful. There will be a few shadows scattered throughout the sunlight, however, and they’ll have to be faced realistically, not emotionally. He’s willing to face anything realistically, without self-deception, but she may need some help. (In fact, she may need a lot of help.) But if she should succeed, she deserves more credit than he does. A Virgo man finds it easy to analyze a situation, spot the flaws, reach a compromise, and clear away the confusion. He really doesn’t deserve much praise for doing what is so instinctive, what comes so naturally to him. The Aries woman’s natural reaction to a problem is to first slam it with a hammer, then butt against it with those Ram horns, hoping to demolish it. If that doesn’t work, she’s ready to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of it, but the pros may be all on her side—the cons on his. Therefore, if she can learn to face a misunderstanding with a cool temper and a rational mind, she deserves the kind of appreciation reserved for those who accomplish the nearly impossible.
All those memories of the female Ram that the Virgo man we discussed before still retains in his neat mind were formed when their love was new. If the affair had lasted longer or developed into marriage, she may have seemed to him a trifle less like an angel. He might also have seemed to her a few inches shorter than a saint. Most of the squabbles between Aries and Virgo will blow hot and cold over his urge to criticize her. If he’s truly analytical, he’ll soon realize that, with her, he’s safer when the wind blows hot than when it blows cold. As I’ve counseled repeatedly, there’s more to fear from Aries ice than from Aries fire. The latter soon burns itself out. The former can shock the astrological novice, when the Aries woman stops crying wolf and cries good-bye. Once she’s gone she’s not likely to look over her shoulder to yesterday. The freedom of today may be far more exciting to her than the fast-fading recollection of past heartache. It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves on a hot stove. They’re always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily the same stove. That’s worth remembering.
Back to the criticism. True, he has secret ways of convincing her that his criticisms don’t mean she isn’t loved. But loved or not, she won’t be happy when the list of her shortcomings is longer than the list of her talents and virtues. If he wants a tranquil relationship with this woman, he’ll learn to appreciate her individual tastes and cut back on the criticisms.
She could also have a habit of spend now—pay later—which may bring on periodic spells of Virgo nervousness. Pouting in the corner, nagging, or hiding the credit cards won’t work with Aries. The best solution is to let her get a job and squander her own money.
The combination of Aries and Virgo is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern. Among other things, this means that devotion, service, and working together will always be part of their relationship. It also means something which may come as a surprise to those who don’t understand astrology—a strangely compelling sexual attraction. She represents sexual mystery to him. He represents to her the kind of sexual relationship she can trust. Somehow, despite the basic differences in their natures, these two may enjoy a rare compatibility of physical desire and expression. Perhaps it’s born of the essential innocence and purity of intent the symbolic Infant and the symbolic Virgin bring, in an esoteric sense, to their lovemaking. Or it may be their mutual belief that sexual union is the ultimate blending of a man and woman’s deepest yearnings, bringing their bodies, minds, and souls together in a singing unison of purpose and mutual tenderness. It could be this woman’s directness, the simplicity of her approach to intimacy, that appeals to the Virgo man’s innate honesty—or his unselfish consideration of her needs that touches her so tenderly—and the fact that his latent passion can be aroused only with someone who joins him in the desire to raise physical love to a higher level than a casual erotic encounter or a brief pleasure.
Whatever the reason, the sexual relationship between them is usually a strong force, often resulting in the kind of emotional peace and physical fulfillment that makes it easier for them to tolerate the differences and tensions in other areas of their togetherness. With Aries and Virgo, sex is a renewal of hope and rededication to each other. In most Aries-Virgo unions, the Virgo man will feel that the Aries female is all the woman he’ll ever want or need. The enthusiasm of her spontaneous passion nearly always deepens his basic earthy instincts. But she may sometimes feel that he’s not spontaneous or involved enough in passion, and she may lie awake beside him on more than one night, wondering to herself if this is all there is to love. Somehow, she hoped it would be more like her daydreams, more stormy and wild and abandoned. She adores his gentleness and consideration, but she may wish occasionally he’d make her feel really truly conquered and overpowered—like Heathcliffe and Cathy on the moors.
The female Ram must comprehend that the Virgo man she loves is frequently driven by the force of his ruler Mercury to commit himself to the mental gymnastics of the moment—and pursue a thought to its conclusion. When she accuses him of neglecting her at these times, he won’t understand. His busy mind has been busy meditating on amoebas, splitting and popping into the air as they reproduce themselves. At a time like that, to be pulled back to the reality of man-woman love can annoy him. She’ll resent his detachment, and her instinctive urge to employ the fiery Mars method of demanding that he pay attention to her can create some unpleasant scenes between them. He’ll intensely dislike being boxed in by her insistence on direct answers. Especially when he’s immersed in one of his frequent spells of deep-blue depression and futility.
At these times, the only way to handle him is to pretend she doesn’t even notice his gloom and sadness. She should make a conscious effort to remain cheerful herself, totally curb her own sensitivity to neglect—and concentrate all her concern and sympathy toward him, not herself. She should suggest happy things for the two of them to do … and talk about positive plans for the future. But quietly and sparingly—not in a running streak of conversation, which will only drive him deeper into mental seclusion. He doesn’t need chattering when he’s worried and won’t tell her what it is that’s troubling him. He needs to know she’s there, that’s all … that she’s somewhere near, singing or humming … confidently going about her business in the background. It gives him a feeling of security.
Even if he turns a deaf ear toward her suggestions to go somewhere and refuses to budge under her gentle urging to change the scene, he’ll gradually come around if she doesn’t press him. Once is enough for any suggestion. If he doesn’t pick up on it … wait for a while. The one thing he doesn’t need during these Virgo worry sessions is the third degree … or the added burden of seeing the woman he loves in tears because his silence and detachment have caused her to feel neglected, and therefore sorry for herself. Self-pity is the very worst thing the female Ram can allow herself to indulge in when her Virgo man has temporarily retreated from her, mentally and emotionally. Patience, gentleness, tenderness, and just being there if he should need her … these are the ingredients of the subtle alchemy guaranteed to bring the twinkling stars back to shine again in his clear, calm Virgo eyes.
She should stop finding fault with him (Aries is quick to imitate, and may pick up the Virgo critical syndrome after a time) and instead count her blessings. This man will seldom interfere with her freedom by imposing unnecessary restraints and restrictions on her activities. (This is wise of him, because she’d do her own thing anyway, through sheer resentment at being told how to behave, where to go, and what time to return.) But there’s no denying that the sometimes sharp and satirical words of the Virgo male can deeply wound this woman in the sensitive area of her self-confidence. Also, he may not be as demonstrative as she’d like him to be—not in relation to their sexual intimacy, but in their day-to-day communication and contact.
Demonstrative affection does not flow easily with Virgo and may have to be deliberately cultivated if he wants to keep her, because the tangible expressions of devotion (the small touching things, such as bear hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a meaningful wink across the room, or an unexpected tight handclasp) are a deep-seated need within her. If these constant reassurances of love are missing from their relationship, her belligerence and defiance will grow in direct proportion to the degree of her emotional starvation.
The Aries woman is gregarious, affectionate, and demonstrative. It hurts and worries her when the man she loves makes it clear he’d rather be busy doing other things without her now and then. But he needs many more moments alone than most other men, for without them, his Virgo crankiness, nervousness, and irritability can increase. Although it won’t be easy for the female Ram to really understand her Virgo man’s frequent need for privacy and solitude, she can comfort herself with the thought that this man is far less likely than any other Sun Sign to hurt her by flirting with another woman when he’s not with her. Like Aries, Virgo usually falls in love for keeps. Yes, I know love that lasts forever is rare enough to be a miracle. But if you expect a miracle, you’ll find it … … every time.
Aries Man and Virgo Woman
Oh, say you’re pleased, cried Nibs. .…
He was a lovely boy, clad in skeleton leaves and the juices that ooze out of trees; but the most entrancing thing about him was that he had all his first teeth. When he saw that she was a grown-up, he gnashed the little pearls at her.
It’s sad, but often true. An Aries man will at some time in his relationship with a Virgo woman feel the need to prove to her that his ideas and ideals are sensible, that he is emotionally mature—and in general, he will try to arouse her enthusiasm for his plans, his ambitions, and his feelings.
It’s not that she isn’t pleased, but her response, if she’s a typical Virgin, may leave him with a vague sense that she somehow disapproves of what he’s been trying to tell her. She probably does. She may wholeheartedly support most of what he’s projecting and imagining, but there will nearly always be some small portion of his narrative she feels is off-center, or not well enough thought out and constructed. Virgos are like that. They spot the weak links in the chain and warn you about them before the chain breaks. We all really ought to be grateful to them for this neat habit they have of pointing out flaws before it’s too late, so the bottom line and the end result of every venture will be more perfectly successful. Most people are properly grateful for Virgo’s ability to bring calm order out of chaotic disorder. Not the Ram. He’ll fiercely resent her lack of total commitment to his causes, his emotions, his outrages, his dreams, and his superiority. After a time, he may angrily accuse her of having no sensitivity and no imagination.
He’s very wrong. This woman possesses a lovely, sensitive imagination. Other children may eat Chicken and Stars soup for years without a single comment, but when she was a little girl, she would always delightedly exclaim (quietly, shyly, to herself, when no one could hear) Oh, just see the little stars floating in my soup! When someone gave her ginger ale in a cut-glass goblet one morning, and it caught the sunlight, she cried out (within) Oh, how perfectly marvelous! I have a rainbow in my ginger bubbles!
Just because she whispered these marvels only to her secret make-believe best friend—and seldom or never exclaimed them aloud, she grew up with everyone around her thinking she was terribly prosaic and unimaginative—because she didn’t flaunt her brilliant mind and private thoughts. Then he came along, the handsome, dashing Ram, to make her feel she was a very special person. It warmed her cool Virgin heart, and made her more sure of herself than she had ever been before. Now here he is, like all the others, accusing her of having no imagination. Insensitive? Perhaps he’s the one who’s insensitive.
This woman’s inner world may not be peopled with imaginary faerie creatures every single moment of the day. Nevertheless, it’s a beautiful land of wonder, because she sees loveliness in the small and ordinary things. Once the Aries man who cherishes her truly comprehends this—stops yelling at her and putting her down—he can persuade her to open the locked trunk of her wistful yearnings and secret fancies and expose them to the warm sunbeams of loving affection—encourage her to bring her fears out into the fresh air, instead of holding hurt inside, where it may grow into migraine headaches and all manner of aches and pains and physical ills. Yes, she will learn much of value from him.
He can learn a lot from her too. Like thoughtful consideration for others—the peace and happiness of serving (instead of being served). This she demonstrates nearly every day they’re together. Yet he seldom notices. He doesn’t see her gentle smile when he silently wishes for a magic elf to help him with something he’s doing physically or some problem he’s pondering mentally. She glides into the confusion so softly, he’s hardly aware of her presence. .… and helps to make things come out right, even without being asked. Also without expecting to be praised. She would glow under his gratitude, but she won’t demand it of him. She’s only doing what comes naturally to Virgo when she’s helping, so praise is not her aim, since ego and self-aggrandizement are not her motives. Still, it wouldn’t hurt him to notice—and perhaps say thank you, darling now and then. He might even say thank you for loving me … because the pure love of a Virgo woman is a priceless gift, never given casually.
A Virgo woman is so nice to be around when she likes herself, is being herself—and allowing the Ram she loves to be himself. If she’s a typical Virgin, she’s unobtrusive (unobtrusive compared to Aries!), yet bright and pleasant. She’s quiet and courteous and she needs lots of affection (for which she’ll never ask, any more than she asks for gratitude). She’s sometimes critical, yes, but ordinarily she’s at least polite while she’s hair-splitting and nitpicking.
The Aries man who loves this intelligent feminine creature might comfort her when she’s blue and discouraged over some small mistake she’s made (Virgos tend strongly toward self-chastisement) by reminding her that even the gentle Nazarene momentarily made the mistake of losing his wonted perfect control when he lashed the money changers in the temple. Then too, there are the lost years, during which the humble carpenter isn’t mentioned in the scriptures (quite a number of them, as a matter of fact). The Ram might tell his worried Virgo lady it’s probably that, during those lost years, Jesus more than once nailed the wrong boards together in the carpentry shop of his father, Joseph. .… miscalculated his taxes, which were due to be paid to Caesar’s Internal Revenue (or didn’t make it to Bethlehem in time to pay them on the deadline date), ripped his robe on a sharp rock. .… stubbed his toe … was briefly cranky with Mary Magdalene.… and committed who knows how many other miscellaneous minor goofs? Thanks to the uptight censors of the scriptures, no one does. But one can make a spiritually educated guess. And who is she, the Ram can then ask her, to aspire to a more flawless record of human behavior than that of such a simple, humble man as Jesus of Nazareth?
It may help to enlighten the Virgo woman to how unnecessary most of her worries about her failures really are. And help her to see that perfection is not the requirement for self-acceptance she so often believes it to be.
There’s frequently a misty enchantment inherent in the physical love between the Aries man and the Virgo woman. These two are rather likely to be among the few people still left who are still sexually unpolluted by the explicit sex being flaunted in everyone’s faces, whether they like it or not. The Ram is a confirmed idealist (and a super-jealous one besides), whereas the female Virgin is normally turned off by sexual or any other kind of vulgarity and cheapness. She also would prefer him not to leave the catsup bottle on the dining-room table. Discrimination flashes its sparkles into many facets of human existence, from sex to catsup bottles to messy closets and untidy drawers—not to mention sloppy thinking and a dull intellect. Her own thinking is never sloppy, her own intellect never dull.
Their lovemaking will reflect their mutual idealism and subconscious search for purity and innocence. This doesn’t mean the physical aspect of love between them will lack passion. The male Ram, ruled as he is by Mars, is passion personified. Yet, he’s also touchingly affectionate, usually mindful of the small things related to sexual unity—and she will respond to this quality in him with genuine joy. But she must be careful not to criticize his romantic techniques or allow her innate coolness of approach to make ashes of the flaming sort of sexual expression he offers her so trustingly. Conversely, he must be careful not to offend her sense of delicacy by always making sure that tenderness and gentleness are a part of their union. It would also help if he didn’t pout or feel so wounded those times when she’d rather demonstrate her love for him in ways other than physical. The vitality of his sexual stamina may often exceed hers—and when it does, he should remind himself that patience is a virtue which brings its own reward—in addition to the reward of her return to being a warm, loving woman.
He must simply give her time to rest awhile and refresh her desires. Also, he should know that her enthusiasm for making love will always be somewhat diluted in direct ratio to the vexing worries and problems she’s encountered throughout the hours preceding his need that she surrender herself to him. Even at best, Virgos never surrender their whole selves to love. Aries men do. And this is a basic difference between them which will need to be handled with care.
Despite their natural affinity in matters romantic, these two could allow their romance to gradually take the form of a less emotionally demanding mutual mental respect. There’s certainly nothing wrong with mutual mental respect, but it needs a few more brilliant facets to set it off—like mutual emotional involvement and vibrancy. Still, rarely is even a romantically frustrated Virgo or Arian unfaithful. Not without monumental cause. It’s equally rare, if they’re typical of their Sun Signs, for either to leave or desert the other, even under extreme provocation—once they’ve committed themselves to devotion. For to Virgo, devotion is first analyzed, then defined as more responsibility than sentiment. Consequently, when a Virgo decides to desert such a responsibility, you can be sure the decision to cut out was motivated by personal injury of such immeasurable depth it decreed either a final solution of escape or actual mental breakdown. Virgos have little or no immunity to long-continued mental and emotional pressures.
The Aries man is reluctant to admit he’s been wrong about a relationship for the exact opposite reason than that of Virgo. He keeps trying, not because of responsibility, as she does, but because of sentiment. It’s difficult for the Ram to imagine he could have been mistaken about love, once he’s believed in it with all his heart. This man puts all of himself into every venture, dedicates himself with fiery intent to every challenge—and love is no different from the rest. Could Romeo ever stop loving Juliet, or Juliet ever grow tired of Romeo? Of course not. That’s more or less the way he sees it. He forgets that both these medieval lovers died before they were twenty, and had they lived, they would probably have experienced their share of misunderstandings and disagreements, being only human. Strangely, he’s as much a perfectionist about love as his Virgo woman is about everything but love.
It’s as though she expected love to have flaws, therefore isn’t terribly surprised when the flaws appear. It’s only the other areas of life where she’s repeatedly disillusioned to find things less than flawless. With him it’s just the opposite. Life’s major disappointments he can shrug off, but of love he demands perfection. Somewhere in between their oddly transposed views, these two should be able to find a basis for understanding each other.
When serious trouble arises in this relationship, the tie is usually severed by the slashing scissors of unbearable outside pressures of one kind or another, not by a decline of their love. Sometimes it’s her near fanatical obsession with the obligations of a career or her duties in the home. Sometimes it’s his fierce ambition and single-minded purpose that causes him to place her last—after his great goal in life—his crusade for self-identification. Then she may feel an irresistible compulsion to interfere by criticizing his attitudes—either privately or publicly. This first frustrates, then humiliates, and finally angers him into a Mars-like rage of resentment, which in turn freezes her desire to help him into icy detachment and an almost smug satisfaction at his misery. Then something will have to give—fast! Otherwise, their mutual need for reciprocated affection from each other will soon become secondary to their mutual need for self-respect—and they’ll part, each to seek alone the peace of mind they couldn’t find together.
That’s the dark side. The bright side is that this man and woman can mend the silver cord that links them together each time it breaks—with the magical healing power of love. But only when he defines love as unselfishness and an awareness of her needs—only when she defines love as spontaneous trust and enthusiasm for his dreams. Once these two get their definitions straight, their love can last … … and the tiny cracks they mended with mutual consideration won’t even show. Unless the Virgin keeps inspecting it with a magnifying glass—or the Ram impulsively, carelessly shatters it again. Love is like a precious work of art, fragile and delicate … much lovelier and far more valuable when it’s weathered the years.
|Ruled by Mars||Ruled by Venus|
|Symbol: The Ram||Symbol: The Scales|
|Day Forces—Masculine||Day Forces—Masculine|